Uncontrolable Emotions
by BitterSweetlady
Summary: A woman Named Izumi is sent to the Geshia house only to be stoped along the way. She saves Rin from a band of Bandits and becomes Rin's keeper. Can Izumi thaw the heart of ice the great Lord Sesshomaru has or will things in badly?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Since i tend to forget to post a disclaimer at every chapter, this will be my only disclaimer. I don't own any inuyasha any thing nor do i own any songs used in this story.

Chapter 1

I can't believe what I've done. I can't go back to my village. I shouldn't have left them, but gods I didn't want to go to the Geisha house. I heard about what went on there from the men in my village talking. I overheard when they thought I wasn't listening. So, when that strange man came and started to destroy the escorts, I ran. I ran back to my parents house. It was nearly midnight when I reached their house.

I knew that what I had done would bring disgrace to my parents. They had needed money and got more than their asking price. Mainly because of my waist length black hair, rare bright green eyes, and my fair skin. I scrawled a note to my mother, telling her what had happened. I lied about where I was going. I wasn't going back to the Geisha house.

My name was Izumi Katsuma, but now it is jut Izumi. The Geisha houses are in the South and Main lands. I am from the East, so I can go North or West. I cannot stay in the East. I will go West and the first village that has a miko, is where I will try to persuade her to train me. Since I am a celestial inu-miko, I would be a fairly easy learner. In one week to the day I will transform into what I will look like for the rest of eternity.

My father said that the only changes would possibly be my ears pointed like an inu's, my body filled out like one or like a celestials too, and I would get full use of my miko powers. But I am no stronger than a human miko and my powers would be my only weapons. Sadly I only have purification and barrier powers.

I was walking through the forest, just about a mile past the Western border, when I heard it. A little girl screaming. She was calling out to someone, Lord Sesshomaru. And then I was running. Running to her voice. I couldn't let anything happen to her if I could help it.

When I arrived, there we six men surrounding her, dressed like bandits. They had her cornered by a large rock. I ran to her. pushing my way between her and the men.

" Stay behind me.", I whispered to her pushing her behind me, so that her back was against the stone.

" When I tell you to, run." I whispered to her. The man closest to us moved to the right. Just enough for her to squeeze through. Quickly I raised my hand and raked my nails down the side of his face. He screamed in pain and I pushed the little girl out of the circle before they closed in again.

" Run!" I yelled at her. I watched her make it almost out of the clearing before one of them grabbed her.

" Lord Sesshomaru!" the girl cried.

" No!", I pleaded," No! She's just a girl! Please!" I looked into her eyes. They were big, round, and full of fear.

" Please." I begged," Please, just let her go. I'll do anything you want. Just please let her go. Please." I looked at them while I begged. Hoping that they might have one shred of decency in their hearts. That hope crumbled when I heard them laugh.

" What would you be willing to trade for the brats life?" the one directly in front of me asked. I took him to be the leader, since he was the most finely dressed of the bandits.

" Anything!" I answered immediately.

" Ya hear that boys? She said she'd do anything." the finely dressed one repeated what I'd just said. They all looked at me. I didn't like the gleam in their eyes, the way they smiled at me lustily. Cold fear trickled down by spine as I realized what my 'anything' meant to them.

I looked at the leader and then at his feet. Not wanting to meet his appraising stare. It was then that I noticed something small, green, and dressed in brown squished beneath his foot. It squirmed, probley trying to get away.

Suddenly I as pushed back against the rock, the breath leaving my body. I was then pulled forward, by the front of my kimono, to the ground and rolled onto my back. before I could reclaim my breath and fight back, they had my hands held above my head and my ankles pinned to the ground.

My eyes flew to the girl's face. I couldn't regret my decision to help her. As long as I saved her from this, I would be able to live through the shame. I hoped beyond hope that this Lord she cried out to would come and take her away, before they finished with me. The leader stopped before he touched me at the girls squeals.

" Lord Sesshomaru! You've come! " She exclaimed. The man that had had the girl by her hair was now twenty feet away, with a large hole in his chest. Then the leader was standing in front of me, his sword drawn. One of the men released my wrist, but another grabbed me around my waist. Both pinning my arms at my sides and me to his body in the process.

" Take the brat!" the leader shouted," But the woman does not belong to you!" the leader sneered at the tall man. I could see him in the break between the bandits. He was tall, handsome with chiseled features. His hair reached mid-calf and was silver. He wore a white kimono with the sleeves and left shoulder dyed red, with white sakura flowers. His armor was black and held one shoulder piece on his left shoulder.

The armor was pointy along the top edge. Pointy like dragons teeth. On his right shoulder he wore a white boa. At his waist was a yellow and blue obi that secured his two swords. His feet were clad in black boots. My eyes traveled back to his face. He had two magenta stripes on either side of his face and one on each eyelid. I saw his eyes, they were gold and smoldering. Then he smiled.

" Who are you to tell this Sesshomaru what does and does not belong to him? " The man known as Sesshomaru spoke with such indifference. His voice was cold like ice, but held such authority. 'This must be the Lord the girl spoke of.' I thought.

" Let the woman and my ward go and I will let you live. ", his baritone voice commanded again, " Men such as you have no business on my land. " The Lord added. 'Wait! His land? The Western lands were owned by a very powerful Tiayouki named...' my thought broke off as I both made the connection and mentally slapped myself in the head. My eyes followed his jaw line to his ears. They were pointed. And the stripes on his cheeks and each eyelid, not to mention the purplish-blue crescent moon on his forehead. Signs of a full demon.

" She belongs to us. She traded her life for the brats. " The Leader stated happily.

" The woman belongs to me. ", Sesshomaru stated simply, " It is not for her to decide to whom her life belongs. " I stared at him. Shocked at what he had just said. his eyes shifted then.

" Rin. " Sesshomaru spoke to her in slightly a softer tone, " Take Jaken and wait for me in the forest."

" Yes, milord. " The girl I now knew as Rin stated happily. She started toward the forest, dragging behind her the green thing I suddenly knew as an imp, by the brown robes I had seen underneath the leader's foot.

" I have given you a warning. This Sesshomaru will not warn you again. ", Sesshomaru stated simply, " Let.The.Woman.Go. " He said each word slowly and separately. The leader laughed as he answered.

" Did you not hear me demon? ", he laughed again, " The woman belongs to us. " Before the leader could turn his back on the Lord, a bright green whip appeared at the tip of Sesshomaru's claws. With a flick of his wrist, the remaining five members of the group fell to the ground. Never to rise again as the poison from Sesshomaru's whip ate at their cloths and flesh.

I stood there shocked. Looking at the bodies of the men as the sweet smelling poison ate them, yet the whip had not touched me.

" Are you injured? " The Lords voice sounded in front of me. I looked up, unable to speak yet. He looked exasperated. His face showed no emotion, but his eyes held his emotions.

" Can you speak girl? " He asked curtly.

" Yes. " I whispered. To frightened by the look in his eyes to do more. He liked my fear of him. I could tell.

" Then answer me girl. Are you injured? " He asked again.

" No. " I said quietly.

" Can you walk? " He sounded aggravated about something.

" Yes. " I answered again.

" Rin! Jaken! ", Sesshomaru called, " We will be leaving. " They came through the trees, an imp and a girl. Followed by a giant two headed dragon. They started across the meadow, when Sesshomaru stopped.

" Did you not hear me girl? I said we were leaving." His tone was icy.

" I did. " I answered him. He turned to look at me squarely.

" Then you also heard me say that you belong to me. ", His eyes were furious as he said this, " And that means you are to follow my orders. whatever they may be. " He turned back to face the forest ahead.

" But you can't just..." I was cut off as he spun on me, his voice angry.

" I said you belong to this Sesshomaru and that is final! " He turned and continued walking. I followed behind him. Too stunned to say anything. I didn't know when the sun set, but suddenly the girl called Rin was curled up in my lap under a blanket, sleeping. Two pairs of eyes watched me from either side of the fire. The imp Jaken from one side and Sesshomaru from across it. His eyes held mine until I dropped mine to looked at Rin. The last thing I remember was the Imp whispering about humans and complaining that one was enough. Then my eyes closed and sleep found me quickly.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I was deep in sleep when I felt something nudge me. The small warm body snuggled unto me didn't move. The nudging was coming from behind me, on my shoulder. I rolled over and opened my eyes. I sat bolt straight up, a scream stuck in my throat. The two headed dragon's faces weren't three inches in front of mine. I realized that my mouth was silently open and I closed it, placing a hand over my heart to steady it. How did I get here?

" Ah-Un will not hurt you. He merely wishes your attention." came a baritone voice. I looked at him. His eyes were amused, but his face was Stoic. Then he closed his eyes and rested his head against the tree under which he sat. I turned my eyes back to the dragon. Ah-Un whined and I patted both of his muzzles. he purred in happiness. I could feel his gaze on me, but when I turned his eyes were again closed. I wasn't going to get back to sleep. So, I might as well get cleaned up and start breakfast.

Quietly, so as not to wake Rin or Jaken, I turned to where I heard water running. Walking quietly, yet quickly I reached the stream in no time. I was at the waters edge, starting to undress when I realized I had nothing but the tattered kimono I was already in. Leaving only my yukata, I looked at the lime green kimono. I would just have to wash it and let it dry before I put it on again. Leaving my yukata at the waters edge, I slipped into the cool water. Washing with stones from the river bed, I quickly finished. Diving under the water, I swam a ways up stream. Coming up for air, I let the water's current pull me back down the shore.

Climbing out of the water, I wrapped my yukata around myself and tied the sash tight. I went to pick up my kimono, when I realized that it wasn't where I'd left it. I began looking for it. Coming up to a large rock at the edge of the forest, thee was fabric folded neatly on the rock. Picking it up, I examined it. it was a silk kimono. Expensive by the looks of it. The yukata was a soft cream color with a pure white sash. The inner kimono was black with red Sakura blossoms on the sleeves and hem. The outer kimono was large, too big for me. It was red with white paisley designs on the back, sleeves, and hem. The belt was colored black with red grooves. It was beautiful. At that moment the little imp Jaken came through the trees. He spoke in his high, annoying voice.

" Mi'lord wishes you to wear this. Seeing as now you only have that retched looking thing. " he was referring to my yukata. It wasn't much better than my old kimono, but at least it was something. Quickly I dressed in the new kimono. The kimono was surprisingly light, because the fabric was made of a heavy silk. and it fit me perfectly. Following the imp back to camp, I saw that Rin was already eating berries and his eyes watching me appraisingly.

" You will ware more appropriate kimonos' from now on. I will not have Rin wearing anything close to what you wore yesterday. " his tone wasn't biting, but yet it was surprising to me that I flinched at his words. The kimono the escorts dressed me in wasn't exactly modest. It showed much more skin than a normal kimono would. I don't think you could even call it a kimono.

" Woman! ",Sesshomaru spoke my being with such disdain, " What is you name? " He looked down at me. He was much taller than me. Standing next to him the top of my head only reached his chin.

" My name is Izumi. " I answered him. I bowed my head to him.

" My name is Lord Sesshomaru. I own these lands. You will be the caretaker of Rin. If for any reason I am unable, Jaken will give you orders. It is up to you to decide whether or not they are to be followed. Do you understand? " He finished. I nodded yes.

" And you will speak when spoken to unless I say other wise. Understood? " Sesshomaru said with finality.

" Yes. " I answered aloud.

" You will be riding Ah-Un with Rin. " Sesshomaru stated motioning his hand to nothing in particular. All of a sudden I was nudged in my shoulder again. I turned to see Ah-Un directly behind me, with Rin already in place on his back.

" Come Lady Izumi! ", Rin laughed, " Ah-Un will not hurt you! " I smiled at Rin's readiness to except me into their group. I climbed onto the dragon's saddle. I absolutely hate riding side saddle, but the kimono didn't give me much freedom. As we started up into the sky I realized that I was about to get cold. We traveled at a steady speed, but that didn't help. Yes the kimono was long and the fabric heavy, but it didn't help. And the top laid half-way up my shoulders. The fabric came across my chest, just bellow my collar bone and folded just above my cleavage. Rin didn't seem to mind, so I ignored it.

I looked over to see Jaken and Lord Sesshomaru flying on his yuki cloud. He must have felt my gaze, because he looked at me and held my gaze for a moment. I blushed and turned to look at the back of Rin's orange and yellow checkered kimono. I looked at him through my lashes and he was still looking at me. I felt the blush rise in my cheeks and down my neck. I returned my eyes to Rin's back. We rode in silence for a while, until Rin began to sing a song about Lord Sesshomaru. We rode this way for the better part of the day.

When Ah-Un began to descend it felt like my stomach was in my throat and the breath left my lungs. We landed softly enough. Sesshomaru turned to me then, speaking with indifference.

" Take Rin and continue down the path. I will rejoin you when I am able. " He turned to Jaken and nodded. Jaken bowed to the Lord as he strode away, taking Ah-Un with him. I held my hand out for Rin's and she took it gladly. We started down the directed path, with Jaken mumbling and grumbling behind us. We weren't traveling long when we heard a noise ahead of us. I stopped and Jaken came running in front of us.

" Come out! ", He squeaked in his little voice, Or face the rath of the staff of two heads! " The imp shouted.

" Oh shut up will ya! " came a ruff voice. Then a man dressed in a bright red kimono stepped on Jaken. When his eyes fell on me, the first thing I thought was that his eyes looked like Sesshomaru's. he had the same color hair too.

" Hey, wench! ", He yelled, " where is my good-for-nothing brother? I know he was just with you. You both smell like him. " The man looked at me and then at Rin. Drawing his sword he once again demanded that I tell him where Sesshomaru was.

" I don't know! " I told the impatient man.

" I don't believe you. " He stated. I looked at him. Who was this man? He couldn't be Lord Sesshomaru's brother? Could he? Before I could ask, the object of our one sided argument swooped down between us.

" Inuyasha! ", Sesshomaru raised his voice icily, " You will not raise you weapon to what this Sesshomaru protects! " The man called Inuyasha looked at us then at Sesshomaru.

" Well, Sesshomaru I guess Rin has finally made you soft enough to find her a mother. " Inuyasha goaded.

" Watch your tongue half-breed! ", Sesshomaru spoke more coldly, " The woman is merely a servant." I don't know why, but that statement weighed on me. It shouldn't I told my self. That's all I am. A servant.

" She doesn't look like a servant to me. " Inuyasha spoke again.

"Do you think that this Sesshomaru would let one of his services travel with him dressed in simple rags? " Sesshomaru asked as he raised his hand and placed it on the hilt of one of the two swords at his waist. Inuyasha smiled and raised his sword.

" You took the jewel shard from us! " He yelled at the Lord.

" You are mistaken Inuyasha. ",Sesshomaru replied, " I do not have your shard. where is your miko? She could tell you. " Inuyasha looked like he was very tense. Not that he wasn't before, but like he suddenly heard something he was not prepared for. Raising his sword more, Inuyasha yelled.

" Wind Scar! " And brought his sword down. A bright yellow light shot form his sword aimed at us. Before the words had even left Inuyasha's mouth, Sesshomaru grabbed Rin and my self up in his arms and moved us out of the path of the Wind scar. Sesshomaru set us down at the edge of the woods.

" Izumi take Rin and find cover. " Sesshomaru told me. His back was facing us and I no more than blinked and he was on the path not ten feet from Inuyasha. Sword drawn.

" Come you humans! Lord Sesshomaru said to take cover!. " Jaken screeched at us. we ran into the trees, and kneeled behind a fallen hemlock. we were far enough away we couldn't hear them speaking, but we could watch them fight clearly.


	3. Chapter 3

I watched as Sesshomaru held his sword horizontal and brought his arm above him and turned his sword vertical. Blue light surrounded him and I barley heard him shout.

" Dragon Strike! " before he brought his sword forcibly down in front of him, pointing it at Inuyasha. The blue light flew in a whirl wind toward Inuyasha. Inuyasha countered it with a whirl of blue and yellow wind. Sesshomaru moved out of the way at the last moment. He was about to charge at Inuyasha, when I saw a strangely dressed girl run out onto the path. She was shouting something at Inuyasha, who continued to ignore her. She crossed her arms and I faintly saw her lips move before Inuyasha was pulled face first to the ground. Her lips moved again and again, and like the first time, Inuyasha was pulled to the ground.

" Come Lady Izumi! The fight is over! " Rin cried ecasticaly. She began to run to the small group now gathered in the small meadow surrounding the path, before I grabbed her arm.

" Wait, Rin!", I called, " How do you know the fight is over? " I questioned her.

" Because, ", she said, " Lord Sesshomaru has sheathed his sword and Lady Kagome has told Inuyasha to sit. " she explained to me. I let her go then. Jaken matching my pace as I walked hesitantly toward Lord Sesshomaru, where Rin stood at his side. Five pairs of curious eyes watched me as I went to stand behind Rin.

I looked at the odd little group, it was slight bigger than our own group though. Their group contained the oddly dressed Lady kagome, the as of now incapacitated Inuyasha, a monk who apparently is perverted, his eyes keep glancing in the direction of the girl next to him and his hand seems to twitch at the same moment his eyes move, a demon slayer by her look, a two tailed fire cat, and a demon fox kitsun. They continue to look at me and so I drop my eyes to the ground.

Sesshomaru turned without a word and continued our previous path. Rin and Jaken followed immediately. I bowed quickly and followed behind them as fast as I could. when we reached the hill, Rin turned back and waved to Lady Kagome. She in turn waved back. Rin giggled happily and took my hand as we followed obediently behind our Lord.

" we will arrive at my castle in three days time. " Sesshomaru spoke quietly. It startled me for it was so quiet. Rin sat playing by herself with flowers, while she waited for me to finish our supper. Behind her laid Ah-Un, watching her with one of his massive heads and me with the other. I could fell his eyes on me, so I looked up. His face was stone yet again, But his eyes were...amused? Curious maybe? I don't know. I dropped my eyes back to the spitted fish and turned them again. A few more minutes and they'll be done I thought.

" We have a few more places to check before we return home or we would be there in two days. " He continued. I looked at the fish and they were done. I took the five spits and handed one to Rin, surprisingly Jaken took one, and I threw Ah-Un's to him. He swallowed it with one of his heads. I offered Sesshomaru one of the lasts. He looked at it with disgust and his tone was once again cold and indifferent.

" Woman. ", He paused, " What makes you think that this Sesshomaru needs you human food? " he questioned me rather harshly. I pulled the spit back and suddenly Ah-Un had eaten everything, but my hand. The whole spit, including the fish. I looked at him surprised, then I patted his snouts and took a bite of the fish in my other hand. I looked at Sesshomaru.

" Answer me woman! " He said icily. My face, I knew, turned a light shade of pink.

" My name is Izumi. " I mumbled under my breath.

" Come again? " Sesshomaru spoke again. I looked up stunned that he could hear me. I saw the faint quirk of his lips, like he was trying to hold back a smile.

" I am sorry. " I whispered, for Rin had already fallen asleep against Ah-Un, " I don't know much about demons. " I spoke as I went to retrieve a blanket from Ah-Un's saddle bag and placed it over Rin. Tucking it in around her shoulders and her sides.

" Tell me Izumi, " he spoke softly again, if Sesshomaru could be soft, " what are you? " Cold fear ran through me. No one was supposed to know about my family. The spell that protected our scent from animals and demons alike. I guess it wasn't strong enough to fool Sesshomaru. I saw his eyes darken before he was standing in front of me. The next thing I knew my back was pressed against a tree, his hand around my throat constricting my air, his lips at my ear.

" What are you?! " Sesshomaru hissed venomously. Both of my hands grasped the one he held at my throat, gasping fro breath.

" I...am a...celestial inu-miko...", I gasped as his had tightened on my throat, " I am...not...dangerous. " I gasped again.

" I can't breath. " I pleaded as my world began to spin. Sesshomaru loosened his hold, but did not relinquish it.

" Explain. " He said simply and icily. I took a moment to pull enough oxygen into my lungs.

" All it means is that I am half goddess, two-thirds inu, and one-third miko or a human priestess. " I stopped for breath and he let me go. I rubbed my sore neck. Yes, I thought, there would definitely be a bruise there in the morning. " It means that only another celestial can kill me. I will look like a celestial and inu. I will have a few senses of an inu, but I am no stronger than a human. I bleed and bruise and am broken just as easily as a human. " I looked at him and he came close again and I shrunken back against the tree. I knew he could not only see my fear in my eyes, he could smell it.

Sesshomaru raised his hand to my neck, I pressed myself further back into the tree, the bark biting into my flesh. I pressed back into the tree as far as I could and squeezed my eyes shut, but when he touched my neck, he did not choke me. His fingers were warm against my skin. He ran his thumb over my hyoid. My breath caught as his thumb pressed against the bruise.

He ran the backs of his fingers along the side of my neck. his claws scratched me and I hissed. His eyes caught mine and they were a light with golden fire and rash excitement. Then he placed one hand on my chin and the other on the back of my head. Gently he turned my face away from him exposing my neck. Then I felt something warm and wet on my neck. He was licking me I realized. Sesshomaru was licking my neck! Oh my kami how did this happen?!

He stopped and stood still. I tried to move away, but I had no were to move. His body was so close to mine, if I moved any way our bodies would brush. I stood still as I felt something else. He was kissing my neck now. Sesshomaru placed small, wet kisses allover my neck, from one side to the other, moving my head as he pleased. Sesshomaru kissed under my chin and jaw line and down my neck to the hallow of my throat, his hands cradled my head and held my shoulder.

Sesshomaru placed a single chaste kiss on my bare shoulder. And then he looked at me. His eyes smoldered. Sesshomaru dropped his hands and stepped away from me. I reached to touch his face, but he caught my wrist in a strong grasp and placed it at my side letting go quickly as if I'd burned him.

" Dog saliva has healing properties. " Sesshomaru stated looking at me.

" Oh. " I whispered as all the blood rushed to my face. That was the last thing I remember as my legs gave way and darkness surrounded me. I let sleep claim me


	4. Chapter 4

I didn't want to wake up. I was warm and comfortable. I snuggled down deeper into the blankets. Then all the events of yesterday came flooding back to me and I sat up so quickly that I became very light headed. I put a hand on my head and took a deep breath. That's when I realized that my throat wasn't sore or raspy they way it should be. I let my fingers gently probe my neck and was surprised when I neither felt any swelling or flinched at any pain. I guess dog saliva really does work.

" You don't smell very different from a human. " Came a cold voice. Startled my head turned sharply to look at a glaring inu-yukai.

" For now yes. " I answered. He looked at me curiously.

" Explain. " Sesshomaru said simply. I looked at him for a moment.

" Did your throat not heal well? " Sesshomaru asked, his features darkening.

" No...I mean yes it did. Thank you. " I stumbled over my words.

" No need to thank me. ", He replied, " But you will answer my question. " He commanded. I nodded.

" My scent, along with other things, will change. " I told him promptly. He looked at me. He seemed to either have a staring problem or he liked to look at things a lot, because one he was constantly staring at me and two his stares seemed to last for ever.

" When? " Sesshomaru asked, stopping my internal rant.

" Two days, not counting to day. " I said thoughtfully.

" Three days then. " Sesshomaru answered arrogantly. " What will you look like? " He asked me

" I don't know. ", I replied, " My father made a guess, but we can't be for sure. " Sesshomaru closed his eyes then. I thought the conversation was over, apparently I was wrong. He spoke again.

" Where is your family? " He asked.

" In Siauto. ", I told him, " They sold me to the Geisha house in the South. " I spoke quietly. I hoped he would ask no further, but again I was wrong.

" What did you do to get sent there? " Sesshomaru asked again, his eyes still closed. I tried to control my emotions as I answered.

" I did nothing. ", I replied. Heatedly remembering what Tiosain did to me, " he made it all happen." I spoke holding back the tears. I was unsuccessful as a single tear slipped down my cheek. I saw his eyes open as soon as the tear left my eye. his eyes followed it's path down to my chin. Furiously I wiped my eyes. He looked at me strangely.

" I am sorry. ", I whispered, " I guess I'm not as over it as I thought. " His eyes seemed to darken as I said this.

" What did this man do to you that you still cry? " Sesshomaru asked. His voice was a mixture of emotions. I didn't wasn't to answer, but the growl that Sesshomaru let out was convincing enough.

" His name was Tiosain. I thought he loved me and I thought I loved him. Sometimes when I was alone, I used to think that I forced my self to believe that I didn't love him after. But over time I figured out that I was more in love with the idea of being in love, than actually loving him. ", I stopped and took a breath to continue, " The reason for my parent's selling me to the Geisha House was not only for money. It was also because Tiosain left me at the head of the house. On our wedding day. he left me to be a consort to a very beautiful Geisha, Ayomaynie, if I remember right."

" They thought that if I was to become a Geisha I would have a gracious consort. Because after Tiosain men would look at me. They'd want me just like before Tiosain, But they'd never speak or come near me in public. In short his betrayal left me scared, disgraced, and...unwanted. " I finished, swallowing hard, I closed my eyes and let a few tears fall before I quickly wiped them away. I didn't want his pity nor did I want him to see me as weak.

" No one such as you should ever have to have such a thing hang over their head. " His voice was too damned controlled. I looked at him, his eyes were closed again, but his lips were pressed in a thin line.

" It's okay. I realized I didn't love him and that took some of the pain away. " I explained. He looked at me, his eyes were dark and on fire, but his lips were still presses tightly together. I was about to speak when I realized that we were the only two in the camp. Rin, Jaken, And Ah-Un were subsequently missing.

" Were is... " I started to ask when Rin came through the trees on Ah-Un, and Jaken on his saddle behind her.

" Lady Izumi! ", Rin called, " we brought breakfast and a new kimono for you. " Rin placed a small bundle in my arms. I untied the silky sash and looked in side. It was a kimono alright. I rose to my feet, bowed, and turned into the forest. I thought I remembered passing a hot spring a ways back. I retraced our steps for about five minutes and then I felt the hot steam from the natural springs.

I laid the new kimono, my old one I had gotten yesterday, and my yukata side by side on the rocks. I looked at the trees. Surprisingly there were jasmine, dogwood blossoms, juniper and Sakura trees every where. I reached for the dogwood and Sakura blossoms first. Crushing them up, I let the juices and oils trickle into the water before I let the petals themselves fall into the water. I grabbed a few handfuls of juniper blossoms from the trees, into the water with me.

I crushed them up too and washed my body with the oils. I placed some in my hair and twisted until the blossoms' juice was soaked up by me long tresses. I went under water and rinsed off and got out. I laid on the ground for a moment, drying. I got up and looked in the wrappings of the kimono. Right inside was a binding for my breasts and very high cut shorts. Putting both pieces of underclothes' on, I picked up the lime green yukata. It was short. I put it on and tied the black sash. I gasped, the yukata came only mid-thigh! I pulled out the blood red inner kimono. It came mid-thigh also, but a long piece of fabric came from my right hip down to my ankle. It went from the mid-front of the kimono to the mid-back of it. The outer kimono was exactly the same, only it was black with red lilies on the lower back. Both kimonos' rode low on my shoulders and instead of covering my cleavage as the first had done, this one showed a little more than a bit. I tied the blood red belt tighter than I usually did.

Taking the sides of my hair up and folded at the back of my head, I plucked a long steamed jasmine form the reeds and twined it I my hair. the flower facing out to hold my hair up. I pulled two strands of hair to rest on either side of my face. I checked my reflection in the water. I turned quickly when I sensed a presence nearby. Quickly I slipped the small black and red colored getas on and wrapped the remaining kimono and my old yukata up in the cloth and was about to head quickly back to camp when his voice stopped me.

" Izumi. ", He said barely above a whisper, " You have not finished explaining yourself to me. " I could feel his gaze and I shivered. Did he personally pick these kimonos' out just to stare at me and make me even more awkward around him? I waited for him to speak.

" Your self preservation was strong when you escaped the Geisha House and yet you through yourself in front of bandits to save a girl you did not know. Why? Were so ready to bare the shame of your body being defiled by worthless men, but yet you couldn't bare the disgrace of not holding a man? How do you explain? Did you so miss the Geisha House that at you first chance to... " I cut him off. I couldn't take his self righteous ass any more! They way he spoke to me! What right did he have?! He didn't even know me!

" First!, ", I said irate, " I have never been to the Geisha House, nor have I ever lain with a man. Second it would have been easier because, people would have believed that I had had no control over what happened, that I did my best. Granted I would still have been cast out, but at least they would know I am not worthless as many of them think. ", I stopped again, " They don't know how hard we try for them. They..."

" You said them and then we. Taking the latte to whom were you referring? " Sesshomaru asked. I uttered one word at first. With such disdain did I say it, I could have almost rivaled Sesshomaru's tone.

" Men. ", I looked at him squarely, " I have sworn that no man would get close enough to hurt me again. ever again. " I emphasized. I gathered the small bundle to my chest and walked past him to the camp.

" Not all men are as low as him. " He whispered to me. I gave him no notice. " gather Rin and Jaken, we leave as soon as they are ready. " I nodded. back at camp, I put away my kimono and blanket. I ate the rice ball that Rin offered me and rinsed my mouth out with the small cup of vinegar she handed me next. we left then. The new kimono I wore gave me more freedom and I could ride with one leg on each side. not appropriate for a lady, but much more comfortable. We traveled in silence, with Sesshomaru asking me a question now and then. I answered dutifully. respectful he asked no questions about Tiosain or Siauto.

Then it was silence. We traveled until the sun passed fairly behind the trees. Plunging the land into starlight darkness. It was silent through our supper, even though Sesshomaru ate nothing yet again. I lay down by the fire. Rin snuggled against my bosom, sleeping. Jaken rested against Ah-Un, and Sesshomaru against a tree. The last thing I thought before I closed my eyes was that I had two days left.

I know that this chapter was kind of woe is me, but it can't be very bad. I think from here on out the story goes a little to fast, but can tell me what you think. I have no idea what flowers grow in Japan and the flowers motioned I don't know what the grow on. Plz review.


	5. Chapter 5

When I awoke it was almost the same as yesterday. Only Sesshomaru didn't speak. I waited for Rin and Jaken to return, since they were missing before I changed. Rin again brought me a new kimono and breakfast , with vinegar to rinse my mouth out. Saving the first for later, I ate and rinsed my mouth. I walked a ways and again there was a water source. This time when I washed, there were lilies and I used most of them.

I dressed quickly in the kimono. It was cut the same as the one I received yesterday. The yukata was a off white with a purple sash. The inner kimono was a electric blue and had a white sash. The outer kimono was a violet purple. It had an electric blue tree sewn on to the back. The trunk of the tree took up most of the back and the branches and twigs took up the rest of the fabric from my hips up. The belt was the same color as the tree.

I pinned my hair at the nape of my neck with a few lily stems. I placed one short stem lily on top of the pinned hair. Gathering up my old cloths, I headed back to camp. I found that Rin and Jaken, along with Ah-Un were the only ones in the camp. I pulled the sleeves of my kimono from my knuckles to a more manageable position at my elbows. As I packed away camp in Ah-Un's saddle bags, I asked them.

" Where is sesshomaru? " They pointed behind me. I turned and sure enough he stood not three feet from me.

" There has been a change. We leave for my castle now. " I looked up at him from my knees, by the fire's ashes. Sesshomaru looked at me the way he did that first day I was with him. The day I wore the red kimono.

" Why? " I asked. His eyes changed and he tilted his head down, stepping closer.

" There is no need for me to check the other Providences. Seeing as they are only half a days travel from the gates of the castle. " He explained this to me as if I were a child. I have got to hold my tongue! I can't stand when he talks to me that way. I've only been with him for three days, how in the hell am I going to take him the rest of the time. No! Shit that didn't come out right. Damn it! Today already is not my day.

We left then as we did the day before. The path we chose, took us to Sesshomaru's castle by the time that sun was setting. The trip was smooth, but like the others, the wind made me cold. And like before I ignored it. When I first saw his home, I gasped at the beauty of it. It was made of white marble and stone. The setting sun casting a golden glow on it. I could see the winding river and the water fall glitter in the gardens. This time when we landed, it didn't take my breath away.

I took in all the beauty and was amazed. His home was beautiful. if he has so much beauty here, then why does he travel so much? I helped Rin and Jaken down first. When I went to dismount Ah-Un's saddle, a tall man with long black hair tied up in a high ponytail came forward. He was dressed in a heavy blue kimono. When I pulled my leg over the right side of the saddle, he made to help me.

Instead of grasping my waist and helping me down the way he was supposed to, his hand some how ended up on the inside of my thigh. I tensed as his hand brushed the fabric of my kimono. Then his had was gone and Sesshomaru stood in front of me. He held the mans are at a funny angle, so I knew it must be broken.

" Touch her that way again Sinje, or any other way and you will be another in the dungeons! Understood?! " His voice was cold and angry. Sesshomaru released the man named Sinje and held his hand out for mine. Hesitantly I placed my shaking hand into his. He turned and placed my hand on his shoulder and grasped my waist, lifting me off the dragon's back. Setting me on my feet gently.

All of the men bowed their heads and took a step back. All the women looked at me with disgust and hate. There no humans there, save for Rin and myself. Sesshomaru started into the palace, with Rin following behind him. Guessing I was meant to follow too, I trailed after Rin. Jaken behind me. Rin broke off after a while to go to the main garden, Jaken following her. I made to go after them, when Sesshomaru's hand grabbed my wrist restraining me.

" You will need to see yours and Rin's rooms, so you can find them in you own. " He said indifferently. He let me go and I followed him. Sesshomaru gestured to a pair of doors that had lilies, bamboo, and two pandas on them. He said that that was Rin's room and continued down the hall. A corridor and two sets of doors later, he stopped in front of a set of doors that had dogwood trees on them. With their petals blowing around them.

" This is where you will stay. " He told me and opened the door for me. I walked in and saw a large futon with a canopy, a closet, and a spare wardrobe. I saw steam coming from be hind a shoji screen and guessed that it was from an indoor bath house. I had a vanity, made from mahogany and a little table and two chairs, and a writing desk. Lastly a pair of glass French doors led to a balcony, with a view of the main garden.

" When will it happen? " I heard him ask from the door way. I turned from the beautiful scenery to look at him.

" I don't know. ", I told him truthfully, " Sometime tomorrow I guess. I don't know what I will look like. " I told him shyly.

" Hn. " was his reply. It wasn't even an answer! Not that I'd asked a question, but still. 'Hn'.

" It could happen tonight. " I said. He looked at me, bowed, and left closing the door behind him. I watched Rin playing in the garden, picking daisies. She looked at me and smiled. Then I couldn't breath. My chest felt it was being ripped open. Oh no! I thought. It's happening early! I put a hand to my chest to try and hold my self together. it hurt so much! I was getting light headed from the pain and lack of sufficient air. I used my free hand to steady myself along the wall to my bed. The last thing I saw was the light leaving my room with the setting sun. Then the pain was to much and I let the sweet nothingness of unconsciousness take me away.

I woke up and knew something had changed. It was morning and the light shined in my room. I felt revived. I rose and dressed in a yellow and lime green kimono. It was cut like the first that I received from him. But the inner kimono was a slip and reached the floor. The slip was lime green. The outer kimono was yellow with lime green leaves all over it, tied with a green obi instead of a belt. I slipped on brown getas.

I looked in the mirror and stopped. my hair was the same length as before, but is was inky black and fell over my shoulders in soft waves. My skin was pale like a celestial's and I had their icy blue eyes. On my eyelids were Smokey grey markings and two on each side of my face that were very...elegant? My lips were a light red and full. And I had sharp, elegant claws. I had still had my human looking ears though. I wasn't any stronger as I knew I wouldn't be, but I could sense better.

I left my room and wandered about. I saw Rin playing in the stream with Ah-Un. Jaken watching distantly from the dry safety of the shore. I walked on. I came to a door that was light brown and held the carving of a large landscape. I pushed it open. Inside was a desk and so many books, it would take forever to read them all. I walked in and let my hand trail along the spins of the books. I was on the left side of the desk looking at the book titles when his voice reached me.

" You've changed I see. " I turned my head to look at him. He closed the door with one hand and looked at me. I turned full and let him see me. I'd left my hair down and swept it back over my shoulders. I could feel his gaze on my body and it made goose flesh rise on my arms. His eyes looked me over, up and down. I caught his gaze and he held it for a moment. The his eyes smoldered and caught fire with that golden flame I'd seen only once before. It took my breath away and I gasped as his gaze strengthened. I barely noticed when he took a attentive step forward. I watched him as he took one step and another as he came closer to me.

Sesshomaru reached me. He stood close enough that I could feel the heat coming off his body. He placed his hand on the side of my neck. Sesshomaru brought his hand up and let his thumb run the length of my jaw. And then my bottom lip. His thumb brushed over my cheek and rested on the side of my face. I was pulled to him roughly then. Sesshomaru tilted my head up and looked at me. Finally before I could say anything, his lips crashed down on mine. And he kissed me roughly.

Ooh a cliffy. have to wait for next chapter.Plz review.


	6. Chapter 6

The kiss was demanding. He took as much as he gave. I stood still for a moment, shocked and then my hands moved. One on his shoulder and one on his jaw. The way he kissed me made me light headed. I felt the shelves press against my back.

His hand moved to my waist and the other to cradle my head. His hand knotted in my hair and he brought me flush against his body. Tilting my head back, he deepened the kiss. His tongue brushed my bottom lip asking for entrance. Hesitantly I granted it.

Sesshomaru growled as he took advantage and pushed me even further into the shelves. Tentatively I brushed his fangs with my tongue. He growled and kissed me harder. I did it again, but this time he gentled the kiss, my hands twining around his neck. His hand caressing my body slowly.

Sesshomaru broke the kiss and looked at me. His eyes were hungry. The look he gave me made my blood run hot in my veins and my belly bottom out. Sesshomaru brushed the backs of his fingers and then his thumb along my kiss swollen lips.

" Lovely. " I thought I heard him whisper. Then he kissed me again, but this time he held my hands pined to the shelves above my head with one of his hands. The kiss was gentle, he did not ask for entrance. His free hand ran from my neck down my front, to my belly. He pushed there gently and broke the kiss. He released my hands and stepped away. When he looked at me this time all the hunger was gone from his eyes. They were like his face. They showed no emotion. I knew that my face must be red, and blushed furiously.

" I am sorry, that was very unwise of me. ", Sesshomaru spoke quietly, " That will not happen again. " And then he turned his back on me and walked out of the study, closing the door behind him. His words and actions hurt more than I thought they would. I don't know why I feel like this. I am nothing more than a servant to him. I felt the hot liquid before I even realized I was crying.

How could he just leave like that after the way he kissed me? Beauty is really our curse. I wiped at my tears angrily. I swore that I would never let any man get close enough to hurt me again. I guess that I couldn't keep him out. He could hurt me. Sesshomaru could hurt me and that scared me. I wiped my eyes again and went to find Rin. I found her in the main garden trying to make a daisy chain.

" Here. ", I said gently, " Let me help you. " I sat down beside Rin, under the watchful eye of Jaken. I made her a daisy necklace and a crown. I then made her a bracelet and a ring for her. Rin smiled one of her big childish smiles.

" Can you teach me? " She asked me happily. I gathered more daisies and made a second crown slowly so she could see how I did it. She started to make something.

" What are you making? " I asked her, she stopped to pick up another daisy and add it to the string.

" A crown for you. " she replied in her happy tone. I helped her when she needed it and showed her how to tie a small tight knot, so the crown wouldn't come undone.

" Lady Izumi? " he said my name like a question, " Can I ask you a question? " She asked me quietly as she placed the crown on my head.

" You can ask me anything. " I told her truthfully. She bowed her little head before she spoke.

" Can I call you mother? " Rin asked me in a flurry of words.

" I…Rin…I don't mind it, but Lord Sesshomaru…" I trailed off I my answer.

" Lord Sesshomaru will not mind if I ask him." She explained. I smiled at her.

" Of course you can Rin. Just call me Lady Izumi around Sesshomaru for now. Until you ask him. " She squealed excitedly at my answer and smiled broadly. I smiled back and caught her in a big hug when she jumped on me. Rin got up and held her hand out.

" Come on mommy! Dinner's ready! " I stood and took her hand. We walked to the dinning hall. Rin and I both smiling happily.

" Sit by me moth…Lady Izumi. " Rin amended as Sesshomaru walked in the dinning hall. I sat down by Rin and he looked skeptically from Rin to me. Then he proceeded to eat his dinner.

" Lady Izumi? " Rin asked for my attention, " Can you put me to bed tonight? " She looked up from her meal to me. I smiled down at her.

" Yes, I will. " I replied. She seemed pleased and ate her dinner more quickly than I have ever seen her eat any meal before. I finished my dinner and excused us from the dinner table. When we reached Rin's room, I bathed her, dressed her in a small silky yukata, brushed her hair, and tucked her into bed. I kissed her forehead and was about to turn off the light, when her sleepy voice reached me.

" Mother, " She called, " Can you sing me to sleep? " She yawned. I nodded. I sang to her the song my mother sang to me when I was a child.

" If I needed you, would you come to me? Would you come to me to ease my pain? ", I paused, her lids were getting heavy, " If you needed me, I would come to you. I would sail across the seas to ease your pain." Rin was asleep. I kissed her cheek gently and blew out the candle. Leaving the room, I closed the door silently.

Slowly I walked to my room. I bathed and dressed in a deep red yukata, with a black sash. Closing the wardrobe, I turned around and almost screamed. There on my bed sat Sesshomaru.

" Rin has taken to calling you mother, I see. ' He spoke in the darkness. The way his eyes shined in the waning candle light, made him look, for the first time, truly dangerous. He stood up and my breath fled my lungs when I saw he only wore a pair of loosely tied hakamas.

" Does this not please you my lord? " I asked bowing. He looked at me and smirked.

" It is of no consequence. She needs someone to be a mother to her. " He stated simply. He came toward me and I backed up until my back touched the wall. I realized with dread that he was still coming and I had no where to go. And than my brain made finely the connection. He was here in my room, half naked, at night, and everyone else asleep. It didn't take me long to figure out what he wanted and also that I was afraid to let him take it.

He grabbed my shoulders roughly and then his lips descended harshly on mine. The kiss was demanding and hungry. And suddenly my oath to myself didn't matter, because the man I loved was kissing me. No! I thought, but I knew that as soon as I thought the words they were true. I'd only known him a few days, and yet I knew I loved him. He cradled my head and my shoulders as he asked for entrance into my mouth. I granted it and he took it greedily.

His hands wandered to the folds of my yukata, below the sash. Sesshomaru pushed them aside and I felt his hands slid along my thighs to my hips. His mouth left mine and he kissed along my collar bone.

" Don't. " I whispered breathlessly, as his hands grasped my thighs and lifted me, wrapping my legs around his waist. Sesshomaru leveled me against the wall as I placed my hands on his shoulders. One of his hands went between us and the he placed it on the wall next to my head, the other holding me to him.

Then I felt a pain like I'd never felt before. I cried out and he wiped my tears away with his free hand. The pain subsided and I moved trying to at least get some what comfortable. He moved and my breath caught in my throat. He moved again and I heard him groan. He moved again and another time. Testing the fit? I don't know.

But then he move inside me hard and I couldn't help the moan that tore from me. He did it again and I gave the same reaction. Then Sesshomaru moved in a continuous motion. I wrapped my legs tighter around him as he moved faster and then it felt like I was on fire. Like I was tingling all over. He buried his head in my neck and moaned as I felt the hot liquid fill me. I bit my lip to keep from crying out.

Sesshomaru. " I whispered. He looked at me then and pulled out of me. He let my legs drop and stepped away from me. My legs wouldn't hold me and I crumbed to the floor, still in shock about what ever had happened when he was inside me. H e had already retied his hakamas and was at the door. I pulled my yukata back together and looked at him.

" That should not have happened. " Sesshomaru said with no emotion over his shoulder, " It will not happen again. " Then he left, but stopped just before he closed the door and whispered something. I thought it was ' especially with you. ',but I wasn't for sure. His words hurt as much as his actions. The first man I truly loved doesn't love me. Or even want me for that matter.

Tiosain was right. They were all right. I am undesirable by nay man. I guess that includes demons now. Celestials' really are cursed to be desired, but never truly loved. I let the tears come then. I trusted this man, I loved him and I let him in. I gave him the power to hurt me. And knowingly or unknowingly he'd used that power. He'd hurt me.

I cried as I slowly got up and walked shockingly to my bath and I cried as I discarded my dirty yukata. I had not stopped as I soaked and the washed myself and his seed away. I still had not managed to stop as I dressed in a clean yukata nor as I brushed my tangled hair. I looked at myself in the mirror and shook my head. I tried to stem the flow of tears as I got up and turned the coverlet and sheets to my bed down.

I walked quickly to my doors and locked them. Turning around I strode over to the balcony doors and locked them as well. After I blew out the candle light and crawled into bed. I cried silently, holding in the sobs that racked my body. I lay there for hours and sleep did not come. Finally, just before dawn, my eyes closed. Exhausted sleep came to me.

I know there was lots of crying but it was for the effect. Um there will be more lemons but I am not telling when and I know I repeated my self a lot in this chapter. I sorry. PLZ REVIEW and I sorry for long wait on update. Hey that rhymes okay shutting up plz review/


	7. Chapter 7

It has been five long weeks since Sesshomaru came to me. And every day since then I have cried a little and I wonder why I did not do more to prevent his taking me the way he did. Or even taking me at all. Rin has taken to sleeping in my bed instead of her own. Sesshomaru would not come to me if she was in the room. I silently thanked Rin for her feeble excuses for not sleeping in her own bed. Not that he would come to me anyway.

Lord Sesshomaru has not spoken to me or even looked at me since that night. And I am glade of it, for I am sure my cheeks would burn with shame if he did. I think that I am ill though. I can't stand for long periods of time without swooning, my appetite is waning, and the smell of food has recently begun to make me violently ill. I think I'll have to go see the doctor today.

I reigned in my thoughts as Rin finished her breakfast. I had not touched mine. I could barley look at it without the urge to be sick. After she finished I will escort her to her classes. She will remain there under the instruction of her teacher until lunch. Then the rest of the day would be ours. Sesshomaru had a meeting with his advisers today, to quickly visit the doctor's quarters. Rin pulled on my sleeve to get my attention.

" Mama, I am done. " she said quietly. Excusing us from the table I took Rin's hand and walked her to the libraries door. I patted her head and sent her in. Then I hurried along the halls until I reached Ginje's quarters. I tapped on the shoji screen and waited for his admittance.

" Come in. " came his smooth voice. I pushed open the door and he looked up. Surprised to see me.

" Lady Izumi. ", he spoke with respect, " What can I do for you? " Doctor Ginje asked. Ginje was only a little taller than I. His eyes were brown and always warm. His hair was long and up in a high ponytail, with streaks of grey running through the dark brown. He was a demon of course and one of the only ones to be kind to me.

" I have not felt well for a while. " I told him. Ginje motioned for me to lay down on the cot for his patients. He asked me about what was going on and I to0ld him about the sickness to food and the swooning. Instead of inquiring further on my symptoms, his hands go to my bell and begin to poke and prod gently. Then he brought his ear against my midsection and then smiling broadly he helped me set up.

" Well Izumi there is nothing to worry about, ", Ginje told me, " Not for about eight more months. " He added smiling. Cold fear trickled down my spine. OH God! I thought. I pregnant!

" Lady Izumi are you alright? " Ginje asked me. I looked at him wide eyed. I am sure I looked much paler then I felt, because Ginje was feeling me head.

" Is everything alright? " He asked again. I shook my head and was still. I couldn't speak or move.

" You know who the father is? "Ginje asked me.

" Yes I know. He's a demon. ", I told him shakingly.

" Are you going to tell him? " The doctor looked at me suspiciously.

" No. ", I said quietly, " He's probably kill me if he found out I was carrying his child. " I looked Ginje in the eyes. He got up and left the room for a moment and came back with a black beaded bracelet.

" Where this. ", he said, " It's a concealment spell. It will conceal you appearance and the smell of you pregnancy. ", and he slipped the bracelet on my slender wrist, " I will tell no one that you have visited, but must come back at least once a week so I can make sure your coming along. " I nodded and hugged him tightly before I left the room. I walked briskly to one of the smaller gardens and sat beneath a pink dogwood. I let my hands rest gently on my belly. Even thought I am deathly afraid of what might happen if Sesshomaru found out that I carry his child, I cannot bring myself to hate it or feel shame. Have a child growing inside me. The only thing I want more than to be loved, is to have a child of my own to raise.

" Mother! " I heard Rin call. And for the first time I really feel like her mother. Immediately she asked if I could play with her. I explained to her that the doctor said I wasn't allowed.

" why? " she questioned. I told her because I hadn't been eating my meals properly and the doctor said I couldn't play until he says I am better. I look around and notice for the first time that Jaken is not with her.

" Where is Jaken? " I asked not really caring.

" Lord Sesshomaru a told him to take Ah-Un and survey the lands again. " She replied

" I am so sorry I can't play with you Rin. " I told her when I saw he long face.

" It's okay. Your sick and when you get better you will play with me. " Rin asked and told in one sentence.

" Of course. " I said with a smile. Rin decided that she wanted to sing and dance for me, I smile and sit waiting. She sings a song about Lord Sesshomaru's travels and her dance consists of twirls, leaps, and jumps. She sings three more songs and does three more dances. When she finished she was out of breath.

" Bravo. " I say in an amazed voice for her as I clap. Rin takes a bow and suddenly declares that she wants to play with her dolls. We walk at a normal pace to her room. I tell her that I must go to my room and rest. She said she understood and hugged me before I closed the door. I feel bad about not being able to play with her, but this is how it must be for now. Reaching my room I closed the door behind me . I lock them and open the balcony doors as wide as the will go. Letting my hair down, I shake it out. The inky black tresses falling over my shoulders and dark pink kimono. I place the pink cherry blossom sticks on my vanity and slip off my black getas.

Lifting the hem of my kimono, I make my way to the bed. I lat down on top of the covers, exhausted from the days antics, shock, and happiness. I tell myself that I'll only rest for a little while, but I know as my eyes close, they'll not open again till morning.

I rest one hand under my chin and the other on my belly. Closing my eyes, I let the days wiriness pull me into the dreamless state of being that only sleep can provide.

Over the next weeks I forced myself to eat as the sickness subsided. I went to bed early and often rested after lunch. I was very discreet about my visits to Ginje. He made sure I was eating well. I told him I had taken to walking before breakfast and before bed. Ginje said that exercise was good for the baby and I should continue to walk until I couldn't get around well by myself.

Sometimes Ginje walks with me. We would talk about anything. Often times we would walk in silence having nothing to say. One day Ginje talked about Sesshomaru. I guess he must have saw my blush or noticed my stiff posture, because he asked me flat out if Sesshomaru was the father.

I couldn't lie to him and with tears in my icy blue eyes, I told him the truth. His expression was one of shock at first and then it softened. Ginje wrapped his arms around my shoulders in a fatherly way and we finished our walk in peaceful silence. More than once we talked of what I would do when I could no longer hide y condition. And what I would do when I came back with a child that would more than likely look like Sesshomaru, because we were thinking of an excuse to send me away for a while. I tied not to think on that subject more than I had to.

Ginje told me the spell would only last to about the sixth month and in another week or two, I would be close to my third month. So I guess the more I talk about it the better. No matter how miserable it makes me. Sesshomaru has started to give me curious stares when ever he sees me. I think that he knows something is going on, but I don't think he knows what. I am going to have to be more careful from now on.


	8. Chapter 8

I sat quietly on my vanity seat. He said that my baby was a boy. Since the sickness came so quickly and lasted longer than usual. I let my hands rest gently on the little bump beneath my kimono. I looked to the little table and chairs. Rin had gotten me a glass orb that had three Sakura petals inside it. It rested on a mahogany tripod in the middle of the table. She had gotten it as a get well present.

I felt guilty about ling to her and asked her if she wanted to know a secret. She nodded enthusiastically and I made her swear that she wouldn't tell any one, because I could get into trouble. She nodded again and I whispered the reason was unwell. Rin smiled broadly and rubbed my belly. Then, she declared the she needed to get some pretty flowers for her new baby brother, she left me sitting on my bed. That was four days ago and the flowers are wilting.

As I sat there on my vanity seat, my doors were violently thrown open and a furious Sesshomaru stormed in and slammed hem shut again. He started coming toward me and I got p and made to go into the bath house, but he was in front of me before I had taken three steps. Sesshomaru grabbed my arms in a bruising grip and shook me roughly.

" Did you think I wouldn't know!?" He raised his voice coldly, " Did you think I wouldn't find out!? " His claws dug in to my arms and his eyes held a furious red fie as he looked at me.

" Uh?! Uh?! " He was yelling at me now and he shook me again.

" What are you talking about? " I asked him. My voice was weak and came out as a chocked whisper.

" You know what I am talking about! ", Sesshomaru said flatly, " You've been seen going to and from Ginje's quarters and walking, rather closely if I might add, in the gardens. Now tell me you don't know what I am talking about! " Cold fear flooded through out my body. Sesshomaru couldn't know about the baby.

" Ginje and I… We're just friends! I swear! " I raised my voice. He sneered and pushed me roughly into the wall. My back connected with the frame of the bath house door and I winced in pain. My hands went immediately to my belly, protecting my baby as he came toward me again. Sesshomaru's forearm pressed across my shoulders holding me up right. His free hand gripped my right wrist and brought it up to my eye level.

" Nice bracelet for just friends. " Sesshomaru said with disgust. He dropped my arm and grabbed the back of me neck and forcibly flung me across the room. I turned just in time, so that my hip hit the side of the table and not my swollen belly. I hissed when I felt the sure bruising pain run down my leg, making it tremble. Sesshomaru grabbed my shoulder and yanked me around to face him. I heard the fabric of my kimono rip form the force of the pull. I threw my hands up to push him away. Sesshomaru grabbed the bracelet and broke the string, the wooden beads falling to the floor. The concealment spell broke.

" Sesshomaru I swear! I… " I never got to finish as the back of his hand came down hard on my cheek. I fell side ways as his blow sent me to the ground. I rolled onto my back and for an instant my mouth formed a shocked 'O' as I brought my fingers up to feel the stinging heat of my cheek. I looked up at him standing over me. His eyes bleeding red and I knew that no matter how strong he was, he wouldn't be able to hold back his beast for much longer. He raised his hand again and I closed my eyes making ready for the blow. At that instant I heard her.

" No! Don't hurt mommy! " Rin screamed. She dropped the teddy bear she was carrying and ran to Sesshomaru. Rin put herself between Sesshomaru and I and started pounding on his legs screaming,

" Don't hurt mother! Please daddy! Don't hurt mother! " I pushed myself to my feet and pulled Rin behind me. She buried her face in my kimono and cried softly. Sesshomaru's stopped bleeding red and turned back to their golden color. For the first time the impassive Sesshomaru showed an emotion other than hate, disgust, or boredom. His face showed shock and his eyes confusion. He looked from me to Rin. Then his nose crinkled as if he smelled something unpleasant. He grabbed my arm and pulled me to him.

" we will speak again soon. " He whispered low and threatening in my ear. Then he let me go no too gently and walked quickly to my door and slammed I shut behind himself. Rin hugged me tightly and put her little hand on my belly and looked up at me.

" Lord Sesshomaru hurt you didn't he? " she asked me seriously. I nodded.

" But he didn't hurt the baby? " She asked concerned.

" No. " I told her. She looked at me quizzically.

" Why? " She asked again. I didn't doge her question. I knew what she meant.

" He was angry with me, but he was angry at the wrong thing. He shouldn't have been angry at all. " I explained to her. She nodded and went to pick up the bear she had dropped when she entered the room.

" This is for the baby. I made Jaken help me get it. " She told me happily and handed me the fluffy teddy bear.

" I named it Mr. Fluffy, because the baby's a boy right mother? " I nodded and sat the bear on the table. I gathered all the little beads and leather string of the bracelet. There would be no fixing it. Some of the beads were broken and the string was in pieces. I threw them away.

I wouldn't be able to go and see Ginje today as planned. No doubt Sesshomaru would be watching me closely. Though I had a feeling that I wouldn't have to hide my visits to Ginje much longer.

Ginje wasn't in any of his usual places today. Not that I was looking for him, but every where Rin and I went today took us past where he usually is during the day. I stayed by Rin's side all day. I knew that I was using her s a shield and that I was wrong, but I also knew that Sesshomaru wouldn't dare hurt me when Rin was with me.

All day every time we would pass him she would cling tightly to my side and glare at him as we passed. I went to her lessons with her and ate her meals with her and when the time came to put her to bed, I took longer than usual to go through our routine. When she slept I began the trek quickly to my room. I didn't bother locking the doors. Since he would just break the lock if he wanted in. To my relief the room was empty when I turned around.

I noticed a folded piece of parchment on my table. Slowly I walked over and picked it up. I unfolded it. It was a letter from Ginje. It said;

'Lady Izumi, Please do not be angry with me. I had no choice. He threatened mine and your lives. All he wanted was the truth. Forgive me my lady, but I told him for fear of yours and the baby's lives if I did not. Lord Sesshomaru will not hurt you. I believe that he feels for you my Lady. Come and see me in three days time and I will check up on you. I must warn you though, my lady that many a demon wish to destroy you. Most of them are women that would be jalousie that you carry his child. Remember that the moment the spell was broken, any demon that knows the scent of the Lord will know that the child within you is his. This is all I have for you my Lady. You friend, Ginje Akatokie.'

I folded the letter up and placed it in the draw of my writing table. Walking to my bath house, I bathed with scented oils and washed my hair with crushed vanilla petals. I dressed in a baby blue silk yukata. I brushed my hair and climbed into my bed. Sleep came at once, relaxing my sore muscles and I slept dreamlessly.

I had the feeling that I was being watched. I fought against my sleep laden mind and opened my eyes. I looked across the room and I sat up quickly, a scream stuck in my throat. Sesshomaru sat at the little table and chairs, tumbling the glass orb that Rin had given me in his hands. I watched him. Ever so often he would be still.

Then he sat the orb back in it's place. He let his hands fall between his knees and he looked at me with piercing, sorrowful golden eyes. Sesshomaru suddenly stood up and walked slowly to stand in front of my bed. His tall form towering above me. He looked down at me and smirked.

Hahahahahahah. It's a cliffy. Plz review and I know this sounds like an old TV show saying but stay tuned for the next chapter. And thank you to those who have given me review. Thanks guys. Any way PLZ REVIEW.


	9. Chapter 9

He leaned forward and placed his hand on my belly. Sesshomaru looked me in the eyes, and then his eyes turned sad and he sat down on my bed. I lay back down as he leaned over me. I couldn't get away from him. I was trapped. Would he kill me and the baby? Was he angry? Sesshomaru half lay above me. Supported by his arms, one on either side of my body. One of his hands continuously brushed over my belly.

" why did you not tell me? " He asked softly, his eyes bored into mine and he smiled gently at me.

" I thought that…that you'd be angry…or…or resentful. " I whispered. I closed my eyes and turned my head away from him. I felt his fingers brush gently along my lips and jaw as he grasped my chin and turned my face to his. He stroked my cheek gently with the backs of his fingers.

" Why would you think that? " (A/N: I know that lots of you are thinking what a dumb ass, BUT IT'S IMPORTANT kay. Back to story.) he asked softly. I opened my eyes to look at him, but his eyes were closed and his head bowed.

" Because of what you said that night, how you treated me after. And what you did this morning. " I whispered my reasoning to him. His eyes opened, but he did not look at me.

" I am sorry. ", Sesshomaru whispered, " I should not have said or done the things I have. Especially not to you, you do not deserve that kind of treatment. " Then Sesshomaru moved. He moved the blankets completely off my body. He rose up on his knees and looked at me.

" Beautiful. " He whispered. My yukata had slipped up my legs as I slept and I could see his eyes grow hungry as they traveled up my legs. I felt his hands sliding along my legs then, pushing the fabric up with them. Then Sesshomaru's hands slid to my knees and pushed them apart. His hand slid up the inside of my thighs. When Sesshomaru reached the juncture of my legs, he stopped and let his hands travel up and over my hips to my belly. Then he came down on me. He lay between my legs and held himself above me, so as not to hurt the baby.

Sesshomaru brushed a strand of hair away from my face. His hand continuing down my neck and into my yukata to cup a fleshy globe. My breath caught in my throat. No sooner had I the chance to breath again did I lose it again. Sesshomaru kissed the hallow at the base of my throat. Then he nipped along my collar bone and kissed his way up my neck to my jaw.

He nipped at the underside of my jaw to my chin. Pressing soothing kisses to the flesh when he nipped to hard. Sesshomaru pressed his lips gently to mine at first. And then he kissed me long and hard. He nibbled at my bottom lip, asking, pleading. I gave him his request and let him in. he took it hungrily. Sesshomaru kissed me like a man starved of hunger. He kissed me with such passion, such lust that I felt the fire burn within me. I felt it fill my womb with longing and my body with heat.

The hand that had been inside my yukata traveled to it's silk ties and ripped them open feverishly. His hand traveling from my belly up my body, the valley between my breasts, and stop at my throat. Sesshomaru broke the kiss then. His eyes were hungry and wild as they bore into mine. Then he moved down my body. Nipping and kissing every few seconds. He stopped at the little bump that was our baby. He rested his head gently against my belly. His hands gently stroking over it and he kissed my belly over and over again.

He suddenly rose to his knees again. Sesshomaru reached for me and pulled me up to my knees. He kissed me gently and made to slip the yukata off my shoulders. I pushed him away and grabbed the ties of his hori Deftly I untied them and let my hands splay over his defined chest and arms. I pushed the shirt off his shoulders.

I kissed his shoulders and down his chest. When I nipped his belly gently, a growl escaped fro his throat. Sesshomaru grabbed my arms and pulled me up to him. He kissed me roughly, not asking for, but taking his entrance into my mouth. He kissed down my neck and stopped at my shoulder. His hands slipped the fabric of my yukata down my arms slowly.

Sesshomaru kissed my shoulder, then my neck, and finally ever so gently, my lips. He pulled back then trying to look at me. Blushing furiously I tired to cover myself up. He grasped my wrists and moved them to my sides, holding them there gently.

" Don't hide yourself from me. You don't ever have to hide yourself from me. " He whispered the words tenderly at my ear. He did look at me then and I didn't try to hide myself. Then Sesshomaru pushed me back down on the bed, my legs pushed up to cradle his waist. I don't know when he rid himself of his hakamas, but they were no longer there.

And then, in an instant the fire blazed. I felt the same thing I felt the first time. Only this time he was gentle and attentive. I quivered every time he moved. And all the while, Sesshomaru whispered sweet nothings against my skin. He kept his head buried I my neck, but every so often I'd hear him growl softly. I bit my lip to keep from crying out.

Soon I felt the tremors and the coil that had tightened in my belly burst. I cried out, wrapping my legs tighter around him and grasping his shoulders. Sesshomaru bit down hard on my left shoulder and lapped at the wound as I felt the hot liquid fill me again. He continued to lap at my blood and when he had stopped the bleeding he looked at me.

Sesshomaru kissed me gently. The kiss lasted for only a minute and then he pulled out of me. I felt the loss of him immediately. He pulled the blankets p over us and held me close to him. I felt him kiss my hair and then he was still.

Sleep was coming quickly to my exhausted body. Before I closed my eyes though, I had to tell him something. I knew even if he was asleep he would hear me. What I had to tell him was important. At least to me. I kissed his shoulder as I whispered it to him.

" I love you. " I said to his sleeping form. I heard his breath still as he said " Mine." and pulled me closer. For a moment I thought he was still awake, but then he was still again. That was the last thing I remember before I finally fell asleep.

I felt like I was being watched again. I opened my eyes. Sesshomaru looked at me. He smiled at me and I smiled back.

" I heard you last night.", he said softly, then he grinned perversely and add, " I think a lot of people actually heard you last night. " I blushed and looked away. He touched my cheek.

" I'll be serious now. Why would you wait until I was sleeping to tell me that? " Sesshomaru asked me seriously.

" I was afraid of your answer. ' I whispered shyly. His grin widened into a smile and he chuckled softly. Sesshomaru rose up and propped his head on his hand, and began playing with my black hair.

" You don't' have to be afraid of me. You know that right? ", His smile faded as he said this, " From now on. " He added gently.

" I know. " I whispered to him. Sesshomaru let his fingers run over my bare shoulder. Goose flesh rose on my arm. I suddenly remembered something.

" Why'd you bite me? " I asked him. He smiled at me warmly.

" Remember that do you? ", he said gently, " It's a mark. No other man can touch you. You are mine now." Sesshomaru looked at me seriously.

" Why would I want another man to touch me? You are all I want, all I need." (A/N: I know very corny, Back to story) I told him truthfully. Sesshomaru looked at me gently and hen brushed his thumb over my lips.

" I love you. " He whispered softly. His lips were a second away from mine.

" I love you. " I whispered. I heard his breath catch and the kiss that was supposed to be gentle turned hungry. Sesshomaru's lips descended on mine. He kissed me hungrily. His mouth demanding. Sesshomaru kissed me long and hard and when he broke the kiss we were both panting.

" You know I would never hurt you, right? " Sesshomaru asked me seriously. I nodded and pulled him back to me. I kissed him and he kissed me back. Sesshomaru lay partly on top of me. One of his hands lay loving on my swollen belly. Gently he broke the kiss and placed little kisses along my jaw. He looked at me and smiled. We laugh, about what I have no idea.

Okay so I know that some of you may be confused about sesshy and his mood swings. I had to help me friend out some. Okay sesshy found out about eh baby from Ginje and he feels terrible(sesshy). And he also realizes that he loves her. Also this guy has some major issues with women. I have no idea why though, that's just his character. Aerial if you are reading this and if I didn't explain it well enough the first time here's a second explanation. So I have a surprise for you in the next chapter. So stay tuned. PLZ REVIEW!


	10. Chapter 10

Sesshomaru was sweet to me over the next months. I was close to my fifth month the nigh he came to me. Ginje says the baby will come any day now. Sesshomaru won't be here to see the baby born. Three weeks ago he told me that he had put off surveying his lands for too long. He had said he did not know when he would be back.

I missed him so. The day he left, he kissed me passionately and when he turned to leave, I felt the baby move. I reached out and grabbed his hand. He looked at me curiously for a moment, until I placed his hand on my belly and the baby moved again. His eyes held more emotion than I have ever seen in them before. Then he kissed my forehead and held me close for a moment.

Then he let me go and the gates closed behind him. These three weeks have been lonely and quiet. Not that it's not quiet when he's here. It's just that the silence is peaceful and not anxious. Rin and I have spent almost every day since then in the garden. That's where I was when I felt it. The pain took my breath away and brought me to my knees.

I couldn't breath. My nails were dirty from alternately clutching my belly and clawing the ground. Rin came running as soon as she seen me fall.

" What's wrong mother?! " She asked me. Her little chin quivering with tears.

" The baby. ", I managed to get out, " Go…get Ginje. " I told her breathlessly. I rolled onto my side and clutched my stomach. Then another big pain hit me and a small whine escaped my lips. I felt hands on my shoulders and more on my back and legs. I heard Ginje's voice telling me it would be okay. I smiled at him through my tears and another pain hit. I screamed as more tears coursed down my face.

They carried me to a dark room, lit my a single candle. Men were banned from the birthing room and so Ginje said his good-byes at the door, with the promise to find Sesshomaru. The ladies laid me on a small futon with a small tent covering it. I listened to them as they dressed me in a pink yukata, opened at the bottom below the belt.

I cried out again as the pain ripped through my body. It hurt so much. I heard Rin crying outside the door and wished I could comfort her. I laid there trying to keep my screams at bay. The pains were becoming constant, so I knew I was getting close. I couldn't breath and the tears continued to come, as my body readied itself to bring in a new life.

Then I felt the pain that would be constant for maybe hours. I felt my body bare down and muscles I didn't even know I possessed clench, as the baby came. I laid there pushing for what felt like forever and the I heard my child cry.

The doors opened and Ginje came and took my baby. My body was to tired to allow more than for me to reach out my hand to him.. Ginje smiled at me and I knew that he would keep my baby safe. My fears quelled, I let sleep claim me.

I was waking from sleep when I heard the sounds. I opened my eyes slowly and looked to my left. I smiled gently. Sesshomaru stood in his hakamas and in his arms he was holding a small white bundle. He smiled down at it. He noticed me then and walked toward me. Sesshomaru kissed my forehead.

" You have given me a beautiful son. " he said softly as he placed the small bundle in my arms. He sat behind me and put his arms around me, as I held our child. How can you love someone you just met so much? I don't know, but the emotion that I felt as I held my child for the first time was unbelievable.

I felt the tears come as I looked at my perfect baby. He had just a peach fuzz of silvery hair on his soft head. A blue half caresant moon in the middle of this forehead and Two blue strips on his cheeks. He looked almost exactly like his father. I let my hand gently brush back the blanket and I felt joy go through me. It was true. I would bare only pure blood children. They would not have to suffer the cruelty of most people. I bushed his little elfin ears. I cried harder and I felt Sesshomaru hold me tighter to him.

" What's wrong? " he asked me gently.

" Nothing. ", I replied, " He's just perfect and whole. "

" What do you mean? " Sesshomaru asked curiously.

" It means that he's pure blood. We'll have pure blood children. " I cried. Sesshomaru looked at me not the least bit surprised.

" I know. ", He whispered, " They'll not have to face the hatred of the court now. " Sesshomaru placed his hand gently on the baby's head.

" You have to name. " I told Sesshomaru. I brought the baby closer to him and Sesshomaru paused while he thought.

" Micheko. ", He said suddenly, " The baby's name is Micheko. "

" Micheko. " I whispered softly. Then the baby yawned wide and I saw his little fangs. They would be soft for a while. Like a puppy's milk teeth. Then they would be replaced with longer, much stronger fangs. Micheko opened his eyes a little. They were gold. Not yet darkened with his age. The baby started to whimper and squirm in my arms.

" I'll find a wet nurse. " Sesshomaru told me as he moved to get up. I grabbed his arm to stop him.

" No. ", I said forcefully, " I want to take care of our baby by myself. I don't need a wet nurse. " Sesshomaru nodded and settled back in his place behind me. I moved Micheko to my right arm as I loosened my yukata. I let Micheko suckle from me. The feeling was a pleasure-pain. My son taking his food, his life from me. Sesshomaru leaned over my left shoulder and gently rubbed the baby's head. The sounds of Micheko's suckling filled the room and I smiled. I felt Sesshomaru kiss my shoulder, then my neck and finally the hallow behind my ear.

" I love you. " He whispered to me. I turned my head to look at him and I smiled.

" I love you too. " I whispered back. He leaned forward and then he hesitated. He leaned forward again and his lips pressed gently to mine. One of his hands cradled my head and the other wrapped itself around my waist. Holding me to him. With my free hand, I cradled his head, bringing him closer to me.

Sesshomaru kissed me long and hard. He broke the kiss gently and rested his head on my shoulder. Micheko slowed his suckling to almost a stop. I watched him for a moment and then when he had stopped, I pulled my yukata tight and rose to take Micheko to his cradle. I brushed my finger gently along his downy cheek.

I turned to go back to the bed and I ran into a solid wall of muscle. I looked up into his eyes. His eyes held the golden flame again. Sesshomaru grabbed me roughly and kissed me. He kissed me roughly, like a man dying of thirst to water. I had missed him greatly and kissed him just as hungrily.

Sesshomaru broke the kiss and kissed his way down my neck to my mark. He turned us and backed me up to the bed. I clasped onto the bed when its edge hit the backs of my knees and I feel back on the bed. Sesshomaru fell on me and he kissed my lips again.

" You know, ", I whispered to him, " you can't have me for a while. " Sesshomaru growled softly in my ear.

" I know. ", He whispered back to me, " I wish I had not taken to long. " Sesshomaru moved off me then and lay behind me. Spooning me into his chest. I rolled over so I could see his face. I looked at him foe a long while.

" I love you. ' I told him softly. And he kissed my forehead.

" I love you too. ' He whispered against my hair. Sesshomaru pulled the blankets up over us and held me close. I fell asleep whit in minutes. Not realizing that my perfect life would only last so long.

Ooh you thought there'd be a lemon? Didn't you? Well you have to wait. And what is going to happen? You have to wait for next chappie for the tid bits. PLZ REVIEW. You know I love 'em! And thanks to every one who has sent me them so far. . And TTFN


	11. Chapter 11

A year and a half later…

Eko was playing with Rin in the garden. I couldn't believe he had grown so fast. Already he was walking and talking. Rin and Micheko could expect another playmate soon. It's been five months and Sesshomaru and I are certain that I am pregnant again. As a matter of fact I was going to see him. Well I was going to wait for him.

I entered our bedroom and walked to the balcony. I was getting so big so quickly that I'd be forced to ware only decorative yukatas soon. I let my hands rest gently on my belly. That's when the doors were thrown open violently and then slammed shut. Sesshomaru was in a bad mood. He looked at me evilly.

" You didn't go see Sukia today. " He said icily.

" I went to see Ginje. " I told him confused. Sukia was my new 'woman' doctor. She wasn't very nice to me. I think Sesshomaru is jalousie because Ginje is a man.

" Ginje! ", Seethed Sesshomaru, " What need have you to see him? "

" Because he is my friend! ", I yelled at him, " I can't be jalousie when you go to see Yura! " Yura was his new secretary from the South. I knew I had crossed the line when I said this. I knew there was nothing going on between them, but to accuse him of it was wrong. Sesshomaru came toward me. I felt the back of his hand come down on my cheek. The force of the hit sent me to the floor. I landed on my belly. The pain tore through my body and brought tears to my eyes. I clutched my stomach and tried to crawl away from him. I didn't get far when I felt his hands grab my arms and shake me.

" You dare to accuse me of this?! This! " Sesshomaru raised his voice venomously. His eyes were no longer their gold color. They had turned a vibrant red. He pulled me to my feet and flung me across the room. The side of the table hitting my already sore belly. I cried out and turned around only to be struck down again. This time when I hit the floor, the corner of my foot stool hit the underside of my belly. Exactly where the baby's head and shoulders would lay.

" What about your infidelity?!(A/N: I have no idea if this word existed then.) I am beginning to wonder if these children are even mine! " I let out a small gasp. Sesshomaru either did not realize or did not care how much his words had hurt me. How much they angered me. He stood above me and glared down at me. Then he grabbed my arms and yanked me up. His claws biting into my arms and staining my kimono sleeves with red spots of blood. He shook me.

I screamed at him and tried to break free of his grasp. I managed to get one of my arms fee. Sesshomaru tightened his grip on my arm that he still held and yanked me closer to him. With all my strength I pushed him away and brought my hand down as hard as I could on the side of his face. This shocked him and I broke free of him completely. I hurriedly took a few steps away from him.

" Is that what you want?! ", I yelled, " Then I'll leave and I'll take the children with me! " I turned my back on his still shocked face and walked out of the room. I half ran down the hall to my children's room. I gathered a few of Rin's kimono's and some of Eko's clothes and a few of their toys. When I turned to lift the bags on my shoulder, I felt a tearing pain in my lower abdomen. I felt a warm, wet, and sticky substance slid down my thighs and I knew without a doubt that it was blood.

Cold fear trickled slowly through my whole body. I couldn't breath, I had to sit on the bed. It was still a possibility that my baby could live. I just had to be careful. I took a towel from the chest by Eko's crib and wiped the blood from between my legs. I tossed it on the chair by the same chest and headed for the garden.

I saw my children playing under the Giant Sakura. For a moment I watched them play. Then I remembered the reason I had searched for them. I hurried forward and picked Eko up. Placing him on my hip, I took Rin's hand and led her to the arch way connecting the garden to the castle hallway.

" Rin I am leaving. I am not coming back. " I looked into her eyes as I spoke. They were starting to fill with tears.

" I know its not fare to ask you this, ", I went on, " but I have your bag here with me. You can come with me or you can stay with Sesshomaru. " I stilled myself at the pain hearing his name brought me. I looked at her. She hugged me and led me down the hall.

" I want to go with you mommy. " She told me. I smiled and took us to the stables. Ah-Un was there laying around like he usually does when he's here. I told Rin to sit on the bench and sat Micheko next to her. Their eyes watched me as I moved about, readying Ah-Un to leave. It took much longer than normal, for my hands were trembling and my fingers shook uncontrollable with the tremors. I tried to still their shaking, but to no avail.

Once I had everything loaded, I sat Rin on the front and then slid on behind her, placing Eko between us. Taking the reigns, I led Ah-Un forward. As we started up into the air, I heard a deafening roar. I looked back and saw a giant white dog rise up from behind the castle. It looked in our direction and ran the other way. Once the dog was gone, I masked our scents and pushed Ah-Un faster. We had been riding for hours before I finally stopped us. I reigned in Ah-Un and we descended slowly. I slid off his saddle and then helped the children down.

" Watch your brother . " I told Rin as I unloaded the bags from Ah-Un's saddle. I rummaged through them. Hoping that some miracle would happen and there would be some food. My miracle didn't happen. Taking the children to the stream, I caught as many fish with my hands as I could.

Rin and Micheko helped me carry them back to camp. Ah-Un watched over the children as I smoked the fish that we would need for a few days journey. It wasn't much, but berries and fruit would help. I wasn't hungry, but I cooked three fish any way. I gave mine to Ah-Un and gave the children theirs, I helped Eko eat his.

Of course children being children, were dirty after they ate, so Ah-Un and I took the children to bathe in the stream by our camp. I let them play in the stream for a while. I called them in and Rin dressed herself while I dressed Eko. I took them back to camp and made their beds and stoked the fire. I put them to bed and sat with them until I was sure they were asleep. My hands still had not stopped shaking and I hand stopped trying to make them quit.

" Watch them Ah-Un. " I told the dragon. Ah-Un moved his massive body behind the children's and curled his tail and one giant head in a protective circle around them. I walked slowly back to the stream. I laid my cloths, folded neatly by the river's edge. I ignored my shaking hands as best I could. I would go to the doctor in the next village and see if I could still have my baby.

Slowly I undressed and slipped into the icy water. I washed my body and then my hair slowly. I went under the water and when I came up, I could hold it in no longer. An agonizing wail escaped me and I pressed my hand to my mouth, I knelt in the stream and wrapped my other arm around my body, trying to hold myself together.

I began rocking back and forth, sobbing uncontrollably. I pressed my hand harder against my mouth, trying to stifle my sobs. Tears coursed in twin floods down my already wet face. My heart beat hard and fast in my chest and I could feel it breaking. I couldn't breath. I tried to get enough air into my lungs, but they weren't listening to me. My stomach and throat burned and I felt like retching.

I cried until I had no more tears to cry. And still after that. I'd left and he hadn't come after me. After a while I was able to wash my face and dress myself. Small trails of tears ran down my face as I headed back to camp.


	12. Chapter 12

I stood there for a second after she had left. It must have been more than a second, because I opened the door and looked out and I couldn't see her down either hallway. My cheek barely stung from her slap. That action had brought me back to my senses. I took me a minute to realize what I had done.

I followed her scent to the children's room. As I opened the door, her scent hit me full in the face. Her scent was every where. It was to strong for her to have already left. That was when I saw it. The bloody towel lying on the chair next to my son's crib.

I walked toward it slowly. Her scent getting stronger with every step. When I had reached it, I picked it up gently. That was when I noticed the difference between Izumi's scent and this one. It was mixed. A unique mixture of mine and Izumi's scents. For the first time in a very long time, I felt fear fill my entire body. It was the first time since my mother died, that I felt this emotion. It was practically foreign to me.

I thought back to the fight and sifted through what I remembered from my beast. I felt the fear and sadness run through my veins as I remembered what I had done, what I had said to her. And then her words. Discarding the bloody towel, I rummaged through the room.

Realizing that some of ht children's cloths were gone, I rushed out of the room. Following her scent took me to the garden where her scent mixed with the scents of the children. Continuing the trail of her scent, took me to the stables. Ah-Un was missing. With despair I realized that she had meant what she said.

I felt the transformation coming and a sorrowful howl escaped my as I rose up behind my castle. I saw her eyes when I looked to the Eastern winds. They held fear and hurt. Not wanting to se what I had done to her, I turned and fled in the forest.

I needed to run, to kill. So I did. I ran to the sea side and looked out over the ocean. I giant cat came from the sea. I circled it and tore it's throat out. The blood coating my tongue and taming my beast. Then I bayed and howled to the moon.

I didn't know when I would see them again. All I knew was that I would find them. And when I did, I would beg her to come back with me. I loved her and I'd hurt her. I promised her I never would and I broke that promise. I sat silently by the shore then. It would be morning soon and she would be waking up. I let myself remember how she had looked yesterday when she woke and I knew that I would miss that sight dearly.


	13. Chapter 13

Two months later…

I can still have the baby. I would call her Mayumi. The name we decided on. I was thinking on this when I heard Eko cry. I hurried out of the hut and to the edge of the hill our hut sat. I looked down and there Rin and Micheko were standing and looking at people I though I would never see again. I continued down the hill as fast as my swollen belly would allow.

"Shhhh. ", I whispered to Eko as I picked him up, "Mommy's here, mommy's here. " I continued to whisper as the group looked at me strangely.

"Hello Inuyasha, Lady Kagome. ", I bowed slightly, "Sango, Miroku. " I nodded to them.

"What brings you here? " I asked.

"Inuyasha though he smelled Sesshomaru. " Kagome told me. I felt the blood in my veins run cold. I couldn't breath.

"I didn't think I smelt him, I know I did. ", He told Kagome hotly, "And it's really strong around that boy. " Inuyasha said pointing to my son. Then he sniffed my belly.

"You're carrying his child too? " He asked me. I tried to hold back the tears I knew would come.

"Yes, ", I told them, "And this is our son, Micheko. "

"Why isn't he here? " Asked Inuyasha. He'd asked the one question I did not want to answer, but I did.

"We had a fight. He said some things that he probably doesn't regret, I left and he didn't come after me. "I explained to them. Their faces held shock.

"Why don't you come in and I'll make us some supper. " I told them and the followed me in to the hut that the men from Edo, the village just down the road, helped me build. Surprisingly Kagome, Inuyasha, Miroku, and Sango all lived in the village. I had a feeling that they would be a constant light in our lives.

Almost two years later…

It's been almost two years now and I have not seen him. I miss him everyday. Sometimes I'll imagine as I wash laundry, that I'll see him coming up the little hill that my hut sits on and he'll smile down at me like he used to. Then I'll catch myself and mentally kick myself for daydreaming when there's work to be done.

Inuyasha once found me crying in the woods. I had gone to get some more herbs for cooking when I couldn't hold it in any more. I hadn't cried since the day I left. Inuyasha had held me and rocked me gently letting me cry. 'You have to live without him.' He'd told me. 'I can't, 'I had sobbed, 'I love him so much!' Inuyasha had dried my tears and told me that I had to try.

That was just after Mayumi was borne. Rin is nine now and Micheko is five. My daughter, Mayumi is almost two and she is beautiful. She looks like his mother, except for her eyes. Mayumi is pale like me; she has long silver hair like her father's mother. Her hair reaches her lower back and has childish curls at the ends. Her eyes are deep green. They shimmer when she turns her head just the right way.

I watched my children as they played with their uncles. Sango and Kagome were in the hut helping me get lunch ready. I smiled as I head them laughing and not for the first time I wish he was here to see them. See how much they have grown. I pushed thoughts of him away as I poured the meat I had been cutting into the pot over the fire.

"You know, "Kagome said, "that Ichiro that always brings you fire wood? " She asked me. I nodded to her.

"He likes you. ", Sango interjected, "A lot. " I smiled at them and shook my head.

"I can't. ", I told them, "I am not ready yet. " They scowled at me.

"You have been saying that for two years Izumi! " Kagome accused me.

"I know. " I told her as I rose to check the children.

"He's not coming back you know. " Sango whispered softly.

"It's been two years. He's had that long. "Kagome said gently. I looked at them in defeat and nodded.

"Alright. When Ichiro brings me more fire wood next week, I'll ask him to stay for dinner. "I told them. I turned to look out at my children. Rin with her long black hair and brown eyes, Micheko who looked exactly like his father, and my baby, Mayumi with her long silvery hair, green eyes and her single marking. A shimmering light blue crescent moon in the middle of her forehead.

As I looked at my children, I realized that some thing was wrong. Micheko and Mayumi stood frightened behind a shocked Rin. I followed their eyes. Inuyasha and Miroku stood at the edge of the forest arguing with some one. I couldn't see who it was. Inuyasha and Miroku blocked my view.

Then Inuyasha stooped and turned to look at me. He touched Miroku's shoulder and they began to come up the path to the hut. I kept my eyes on them. When they reached me, they both had a melancholy look on their faces.

"There's some one who wants to talk to you. " Inuyasha told me as he passed by me. I called the children into the house. I still had not looked at the person. I told them to stay in the house until I told them to come out. Then I slowly walked outside and closed the mat flap behind me. I kept my eyes on the path as I walked. I had only gone half way when I heard a familiar voice. One I had not heard in so long.

"Is the road that interesting or do merely wish to ignore me as long as possible? "He said softly. My head snapped up so fast, that if it wasn't attached to my body I am sure it would have come off. My breath caught in my throat and my heart thudded against my chest. I looked into his eyes. They had changed since the last time I'd seen him. They were softer, kinder. His face no longer stone looked soft while still retaining its ability to show no emotion. I realized, with dismay that I stood shock still not two feet from him.

Quickly, I composed myself and took a step back. I looked at him; he was as I had always remembered him. Tall, in his pristine kimono with the red octagons on his shoulder and sleeves. His yellow and blue obi securing his swords to his side. He didn't have his armor on today. I looked then to his long silver hair, then finally to his eyes. All as the last time I had seen him.

I shuddered as I remembered that day. Sesshomaru lifted his hand and brushed the backs of his fingers down my cheek. My heart beat quicker and a emotion I had not felt I a while welled up inside me. I felt like I couldn't catch my breath. I took another step back before my emotions broke free. He let his hand fall back to his side.

"Come, I'd have you eat with us. " I said as I turned to walk away.

"Wait! ", I felt his hand on my shoulder as he spoke, "The baby? " He asked sadly.

"A girl. Her name is Mayumi. "I told him. In that instant I saw relief fill his eyes.

"Come. " I said to him again. I almost gave into the urge to take his hand as I turned and led him up the path to meet his daughter. To reintroduce him to his son. And to talk to him. I want to know hat he is doing here and how he found us.


	14. Chapter 14

It's been four days now and I am going to talk to him tonight. I've washed the little ones and now Rin is in the wash room bathing. I dressed Micheko first and put him in his small bed. Then Umi and I placed her squirming into her crib. I was just finishing picking up the dirty cloths and towels when Rin came in ready for bed.

" Mother, can you sing to us? " Rin asked me. Mayumi started to fuss in her crib. She was almost weaned and only drank from me when she couldn't sleep.

" Alright. " I told her as I picked Mayumi up. I sat in the rocking chair in between the feet of Rin's and Eko's beds. I sat the candle on the stand beside me and loosened my yukata for Umi, I began to sing.

" Did you not see my lady? Out in the garden in singing. Black bird and thrush are silent to hear the Alleys' ringing. Oh, saw you not my lady out in the garden there! Shaming the Rose and Lilly! For she is twice as fair. " I paused and bushed the hair from Mayumi's brow when I saw him standing there. His eyes roamed over my exposed neck, then me shoulder, and finally came to rest on my breast. At which our daughter now suckled. His gaze set heat through my veins and goose flesh to rise on my cool skin. Dropping my eyes I continued my song.

" And though I am nothing to her. And though she must rarely look at me. And though I could never woo her, I'll love her 'till I die! Have you not seen my lady? Out in the garden singing? Silencing all the song birds! And setting the Alleys ringing! Oh saw you not my lady, out in the garden there! Rivaling the glittering sunshine! With the glory of golden hair! "

The soft breathing of Rin and Micheko were the only sounds to be heard in the quiet room. Mayumi snuggled against me, as I quietly placed her in her crib. I pulled my yukata tight. Retying it at my waist. I lifted the candle and closed the shoji screen behind me. Sesshomaru had gone outside. Blowing out the candle and setting it aside, I walked outside.

No sooner had I stepped outside, than he had me. Sesshomaru pulled me to him roughly and kissed me. The kiss was gentle and hungry. I felt myself being walked backwards and then I felt the wood of the hut's wall press into my back. Sesshomaru's mouth left mine and trialed down my neck. I moved my neck aside to give him better access. When he brought himself closer to me, I could feel his desire press into my hip. Reality came crashing into my passion filled senses and with strength totally unknown to me, I pushed him away.

" We can't. " I whispered. His eyes were wild, hungry, and unguarded.

" Yes we can. ", He said simply, " You are my wife. " I felt warmth spread through me form my heart, but I refused to let myself her the catch in his voice.

" I ceased being you wife the day you let me leave! " I told him. My voice rising in pitch.

" I did not let you leave! " He whispered to me with is head bowed.

" Yes you did! ", I cried, " You stood there and let me leave! You didn't even try to stop me! " He'd started to walk away from me, but as I said this he came back towards me.

" Do you think that I wanted to hear you hateful words again?! To see the look in your eyes as you said them?! " Sesshomaru yelled at me. I shrank back against the wall as I looked at him.

" They weren't hateful.", I whispered, " They were hurt. " I said truthfully. His face suddenly cleared.

" Are you afraid of me? " Sesshomaru asked softly.

" No. " I said too quickly. He smiled and came to ward me.

" Then what are you afraid of? "He asked me gently.

" I am afraid of…of loving you. " I said softly, " Afraid that you could hurt me more if I say it aloud. You can hurt me more than any one and that scares me. You can because I…because I. " I was cut off as his lips pressed gently against mine. He pressed me back against the hut. His lips gentle and caring. I felt him nibbled at my bottom lip, asking for entrance. I gave up and kissed him fully. I don't care what Sango and Kagome say, I've missed him so much. And he feels good pressed against me this way. I'd missed him for so long and I wasn't about to ruin this, as only a fool would.

Warning: Lime! 

Sesshomaru kissed me long and hard. Whatever he wanted I'd give. So long as he didn't stop what he did to me. I'd missed him so much. His touch was heaven to me. I felt his need press against my hip and then the blush on my cheeks, as heat flooded through me. Filling me with need and want.

Sesshomaru left my lips and kissed down my neck to his mark. He placed a small gentle kiss there. I held him to me as he loosened my yukata. His hands traveled down my sides to my legs. And like the first time, he lifted me and I wrapped my legs around his waist. And like before his hand went between us. Then I felt him come inside me and I hissed with pleasure.

Sesshomaru buried his head in my neck. He rocked his hips into mine and I cried out. He did it again. This time as I cried out, I dug my fingers into his shoulders. He rocked again very slowly and gently. I heard him give a low chuckle as I whimpered at his teasing. And he pulled back to look at me.

" Missed me? " He chuckled.

" Yes. " I whispered breathlessly. I sucked in a breath as he started moving again and hit a sweet spot. Sesshomaru didn't teas me this time and set a slow and yet hurried pace. Our cries mingled with each other as we began to cress the peak of completion. I felt the coil in my belly winding dangerously tight. And just as it was about to break, I heard Mayumi cry.

" Stop…stop…stop., " I whispered, " I have to.. " I was cut off as he spoke.

" I know. " he told me softly. Sesshomaru pulled out of me and I missed the feeling of fullness he gave me. We straightened our cloths and went inside. Sesshomaru to his small futon by the hearth and I to take care of Umi. I put her to sleep and found him sitting there by the hearth. I thought a moment before I spoke.

" Sesshomaru? Are you coming? " I asked him. He looked at me confused in the direction of my bedroom and his confusion cleared. I saw an emotion flicker across his face so quickly that I couldn't be sure what it was.

Sesshomaru stood up and came toward me. I slid the shoji screen open, he walked in, and I closed it again. He stood there looking at me.

" What are you doing? " I asked him.

" Looking at a beautiful angle. " He replied. I smiled and walked to him. He took me in his arms and held me. I laid my head on his shoulder and wrapped my arms around him. I missed the times like this. Before I left, when he would just hold me. The memory of that day made me remember that this moment was now, not then. I tired to pull away then, but he held me tighter to him.

" I am so sorry for that day, ", Sesshomaru whispered, " And for not coming after you. I have looked for you for so long. " I felt the tears fall down my cheeks and splash on his silky shirt. He pulled me closer and rocked me as he rubbed my back and ran his hand down my hair.

" I still love you. I never stopped. " Sesshomaru whispered against my hair. I sucked in a breath and looked at him. I felt the butterflies I'd thought I'd lost flutter in my stomach, I looked into his eyes. I kissed him then. Sesshomaru was shocked at first, then he kissed me back. The kiss was gentle until it broke. I broke away from him and laid down on my futon. He looked down at me, a strange expression on his face. I reached out to him and he came and laid down beside me. He took me in his arms and held he close to him. It was a moment before I could speak.

" I love you. ", I whispered, " I never stopped. " I felt him pull me closer and I turned toward him. It was then that I noticed the slight wetness of his cheeks and I realized he was crying. I brushed away the few tears that remained and placed my hand on his cheek gently before I finally fell asleep.

--

Well that's a wrap. I am sooooo sorrrrry for leaving you all hanging, but it's hard to get time on the computer with six people living in the same house with only one computer. Imagine smack down raw, but only with kids and not really big hot muscular guys. Drool. Anyway so sorry and another chapter within the next two hours. It also takes forever to type. So sayonara! J


	15. Chapter 15

It's been three days since that night. And every time Sesshomaru is near me, touches me, or even looks at me, I feel like there are tiny sparks catch fire all over my body. That morning that he slept in my bed, he'd asked me to come back with him. I had wanted so badly to say yes, but I'd told him to give me a little more time. The look in his eyes made me think I'd hurt him, but then he had kissed my forehead and said that he would wait as long as I needed.

I think that I am ready to tell him yes. I know that people would call me stupid for going back with him after what happened. But when you love some one, you love them. Who can't help who you love and you're not supposed to. Kagome and Sango don't approve that he's here and neither do Inuyasha and Miroku. They think that he has had enough chances, but I don't think he'll do something like that again.

I don't' care what they think. It's what I think that matters. Kagome and Inuyasha took the children for the night and even though I am not ready to be completely alone with him, I know I have to be. My hands began to tremble for no reason as I moved about the hut waiting for him to com inside.

When he did finally come in, I was in the kitchen getting my herb basket. He looked at me strangely as I reached for my basket. I will never let Inuyasha put things away for me again. I was just an inch to short to reach the shelf where it was placed. Sesshomaru chuckled as he easily reached up and grabbed the basket by the handle and handed it to me. He kissed my cheek chastely and moved to sit by the hearth.

" Do you want to come with me? " I asked him. Sesshomaru looked at me quizzically.

" I am going to get the last of the herbs I need before the frost kills them off. " I explained.

" Hn. " He grunted and came to stand by me. I tied a waist apron around my kimono and picked up me basket, before we headed out to the woods. It was early in fall and there was a thick supply of leaves on the ground already.

My basket was half full and we were going further and further into the woods, when I tripped. I fell backwards onto my backside. Silently cursing myself for not paying attention, I looked around for my basket. That's when Sesshomaru came into my view holding my basket. All the herbs still in their place. His mouth formed a one sided smile and he reached down and helped me up.

" Thank you. " I said quietly and took my basket from his hands. We started walking again and there was a question burning inside me. The question that I never got to ask.

" Sesshomaru. " I asked him softly.

" Yes? " He replied looking down at me.

" How did you find us? " I asked timidly. We stopped walking and I pulled a few aloe branches from the spiny little plant. I heard him take a breath before he spoke.

" For the longest time I hoped that Ah-Un would help me find you, but he always took me to this river. The place smelled like you and the children. I didn't understand it. The place smelled like you, yet there was no trail leading from the palace to there. ", Sesshomaru paused and took another deep breath, " I asked around for you at every village I passed surveying my lands. I heard nothing until I past a man on the road. He said he was going to seek the help of the goddess in Edo. He said she had tree children. I followed the man and didn't let myself believe it was you for fear of disappointment. But then I watched you as you fed him and helped him. I watched you for a few days after he let, before I decided to make myself known. I guess you could say that I found you by luck. " Through his whole story I was silent and then I smiled at him.

" You were looking for me the whole time? " I asked him

" Yes, I wanted to apologize for what I did. " He whispered.

" Inuyasha said that I needed to live without you. That you weren't going to come find me. " I stated quietly, never looking up form the ground.

" Inuyasha has his own opinion of me. ", Sesshomaru's voice was tight, " What did you think? " He asked me. We were walking towards a slop and I tried to concentrate on my steps as I answered.

" I don't know what I thought. ", I told him, " I guess I tried to keep myself busy so I wouldn't have to think. " I looked up at him. His eyes were clouded when he looked back at me. Then I slipped and he reached for me and we went down. We rolled down the hill. His arms were wrapped around my back and he propped himself up above me on his elbows, when we finally reached the bottom.

" You can't stay on your feet for more than five minutes can you? " Sesshomaru asked me playfully. I picked a leaf out of his hair and twirled it between my fingers. I smiled and he chuckled. He brushed his hand through my hair and we started laughing. I haven't heard him laugh in a very long time. I missed the sound and the feeling laughing with him gave me. When our laughter finally subsided, I smiled broadly.

" I haven't laughed like that in so long. " I said as he helped me up again.

" Really? " Sesshomaru asked faking shock.

" Yes, with so much to entertain, I do laugh. But it's not like that. It's not like that. " I explained the best that I could. Sesshomaru was the only one who could make me laugh like that.

" So, I am the only one who can make you laugh like that. " he said smugly, hitting the nail right on the head with is statement/question.

" Yes. ", I told him, " Now help me find my basket before it gets to cold and… " I stopped as he pulled my basket from behind his back. The herbs laying there as if they had not just tumbled down a very big hill. His smile was full of smugness as I took the basket from him and playfully slapped him on the shoulder.

I passes him and looked up at the slope. I groaned, it would take us forever to climb back up that and it was already cold. I had only taken a few steps when Sesshomaru suddenly picked me up bridal-style and carried me up the slope, in one fluid motion.

" Thanks. " I whispered as I stepped away from him. Sesshomaru took my hand and led us out of the forest. We walked back to the hut in silence as the sun sank slowly in the sky beside us. I knew at that moment that I was ready to go back with him. I sat the basket on the small table and took the herbs out.

I carried the herbs in my arms to my spices cabinets. I began placing the herbs in their appropriate jars. I was down to four herbs when I felt his arms wrap around my waist and his lips press against my neck. I paused for a moment and closed my eyes, savoring the way he felt.

I placed the last of the herbs on the edge of the cabinet and turned I his arms. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he knelt before me. Sesshomaru kissed down my neck and laid his head against my belly and wrapped his arms tighter around my waist. I left one hand on is shoulders and stroked his hair with the other. I tilted his head back and placed my hand son either side of his face. My thumbs brushed his markings and his eyes closed in pleasure.

" I am ready. ", I whispered, " I am ready to go back. " his eyes opened and he looked up at me and rose up off his knees. Sesshomaru hugged me tightly and kissed my neck, my jaw, my cheek and ever do gently my lips.

Well I will leave you here. In the next chapter it the last lemon for the story so I hope you enjoy it and also I am trying some thing new with it so if you do or don't like it when you review plz tell me. Hope you liked it. SayonaraJ


	16. Chapter 16

One of his arms sneaked around my waist and the other cradled my head. He held me close and still I felt I was to far away from him. Sesshomaru nibbled on my bottom lip and I opened for him. His tongue slipped inside my mouth and I met it with my own. I half-heartily dueled with him. Focusing more on his hands tracing the curves of my body.

I shuddered and pressed closer to him. I felt his hands untie the waist apron and it slid to the floor. His hand pulled the shoulder of my kimono aside and he dropped his head into my neck. He kissed his mark and I moaned as liquid heat pooled between my legs. I gripped his obi and the next second his swords and obi had joined my apron o the floor.

Sesshomaru moved my kimono aside more, exposing the slight curve of my breast. His hand slid down my neck and inside my kimono to cup the fleshy globe. I felt his thumb brush against it's hardened tip and my breath caught in my throat as a strangled cry left me. I cried out again as he took the dusty peak in his mouth. I fisted my hands in his hair and held him closer as he tortured my breast with his teeth and tongue. He gave the same treatment to it's twin. When he'd finished teasing my breasts, he came up to me again. He kissed me and I moaned as I felt his hand slide between my legs. I stopped him then.

" Not here. ", I whispered to him and led him down the hall to my room, " Here. " he raised his brows at me. I scowled at him and untied his hori, running my hands down his torso. Sesshomaru ran his hands up and down my body as he kissed me again. He tore at my cloths impatiently and finally with some help, he managed to get the cloths off me without shredding them, with his claws. I was naked and he stood in only his hakamas, which I didn't like, as he kicked off his boots.

I slowly untied the ties to his silken hakamas and let the fabric fall. My mouth went dry as I looked at him. He came to me and kissed me. Some how between the time the kiss began and the time it ended, Sesshomaru had carried me to the bed and placed me on it with me head at the bottom. He lay above me, my legs cradling his waist. He teased me at first. Almost entering me and then pulling away. I quickly became frustrated and he chuckled.

" Impatient are we? " he asked me huskily.

" Please. " I begged. I couldn't stand it. I had been over sensitive to even his slightest of touches. Sesshomaru complied and thrust into me. I cried out from the sheer bliss of feeling him inside me again. He didn't move for a moment. Sesshomaru was still and his eyes were closed. His voice was deep and husky as he spoke.

" Gods woman! Do you have any idea how good you feel? " He whispered fiercely as he buried his head in my neck and finally moved. Sesshomaru moved inside me with slow, hard, and deep thrusts. He made me whimper, hiss, and moan with every thrust into my over sensitive body.

I felt the tell tale warmth spread through me, signaling the closeness of my peak and my body tensed. Sesshomaru's next move inside my body hit a very sensitive spot and I exploded. My legs tightened around him and my nails raked down his back as I cried out his name in my release. I heard Sesshomaru groan aloud as I felt his hot liquid fill my belly.

My whole body shook and my breath was ragged as I came down from my high. I finally quit shaking and looked at him. Sesshomaru held himself above me and was trembling in my arms. I felt his heart beat fast against his chest as I placed my hand over it. I brushed his now sweaty bangs from his eyes. I was worried, Sesshomaru had never before reacted like this when he had made love to me and it scared me.

" Sesshomaru? ", I questioned, " Are you alright? " I touched his face. My answer was the feeling of him becoming hard again inside me. My now very over sensitive body couldn't take it and I moaned loudly. Sesshomaru smiled, rolled over and sat up, so that I straddled his waist.

" That answer you question? " he asked me as he grasped my hips and lifted me up, only to bring me back down on him. I cried out each time he lifted, then brought me down. Soon I got the rhythm and rose up and down on my own. His hands only helping to bring me down harder on himself. My hands used his shoulders a leverage as I moved.

I was so close and I could fell him getting close too. That was when I heard the sounds. The scraping of shoji screens as they opened and then closed. The sound of foot steps.

" Izumi? " I heard Sango call and I bit my lip to try and stifle my cries. How he managed to be quiet, I don't know.

" Come Sango, she is not here. " I heard Miroku saying. Oh no! Miroku too! I tired to stop, but Sesshomaru wasn't going to have it. He pushed into me and I tried to stifle the moan that escaped me, but I could not.

" Did you hear that Miroku? " Sango asked. I heard the foot steps and renewed my tries to stop before they found us.

" Sessh…stop…their coming…oh please. " I panted. He didn't stop and I suddenly didn't care if he did or not. The warmth was spreading trough me again.

" Oh…Sesshomaru…please. " I was begging for something completely different now. He complied and within seconds the tightly coil snapped in us both and I felt him start trembling again as I shuddered against him.

" Izumi? " This time when Sango spoke the shoji screen to my bedroom slid open. Sango stood thee, her mouth open, eyes wide, and Miroku peeking from around the corner of the hall in the kitchen. I closed my eyes and dropped my head into Sesshomaru's shoulder, breathing heavily.

" Oh my God! I am so sorry! " Sango squeaked as she hurriedly slid the screen shut again. My cheeks burned and I knew that this was the most embarrassing moment of my life. Be caught in the heat of passion with Sesshomaru, by two of my best friends.

" Give me a moment Sango! I'll be out! " I called shakily. I felt him laugh and I pulled away to look at him.

" You have been missing from my bed for two years. I think you will need more than a moment. ", He whispered huskily in my ear, " try an eternity. " I gasped at him and he smiled a very mischievous and suspicious grin. That specific grin meant that he was either going to do or say something very embarrassing or…yes…very embarrassing. When I made to move off him, he proved me right.

When I rose up to climb off him, Sesshomaru thrust up and I moaned. He was smiling broadly and I smacked him playfully on his shoulder.

" Stop it. " I told him. I moved off him quickly and he didn't try to stop me. I pulled on my robe and went to see Sango. She was sitting by the hearth blushing furiously. Sitting next to her was a broadly, while also perverted smiling Miroku.

" I have something to tell you and I am not sure if you are going to like it, but that's beside the point. ", I spoke calmly, " I am going back with Sesshomaru. " I told them. Only Sango looked shocked.

" Why? " She asked me simply. I understood her and answered.

" I love him. " I said softly. I felt his arms come around my waist and pull me close. I leaned back into him and laid my head against his shoulder. Sesshomaru kissed his mark and I shuddered involuntarily against his body.

Well I couldn't wait. So here you go. Plz review and tell me what you think. SayonaraJ


	17. Chapter 17

My friends let me go after many threats to Sesshomaru about what would happen if he hurt me again and some tearful good-byes, with a promise to visit soon. I had three weeks, three wonderfully weeks of pure bliss with him. Then word of the South declaring war on the East reached us and Sesshomaru left as the commander of the Western armies.

We were the East's largest ally, seeing as the North doesn't have a very strong militia. We wrote back and forth until the first attack. Then the war waged on and it still has not stopped. It's been two months since his last letter and from what the advisers tell me, which is the only way I get news about anything outside of the castle is if they tell me, the South is losing. But only just. The South has teamed up with the continent and the war is even more brutal now then before.

I have taken care of Sesshomaru's lands and duties since he left for war and I must say that I have no earthly idea how he keep sane. If it's not one thing then it's the other, if it's not this then it's that and all the bloody treaties between yukai and between humans…I have had more headaches in the past two months then I have ever had before.

And to tell you the truth, I don't even publicly make the decisions. His advisers say it's because I am a hanyou. I didn't mind this though, they said it was for mine and the children's safety. I just wish that the war would end soon, so he could come back to me. Also so that I don't have to put up with the looks his advisers give me. The looks they give me make my skin crawl. Their eyes fill with disgust, lust, and hate.

Sesshomaru never let me meet his advisers before and now I know why. They are a bunch of mean, greedy, lusty old men. The eldest was Sesshomaru's father's best friend. His name is Hakim. He is kind to me, but his eyes are like the other's. Even though they are very, very old, not one of them looks a day over thirty.

Kagome, Sango, Miroku, and Inuyasha came to visit with me. They could only stay a few days before they had to leave. My only friend in the castle is Ginje and I don't know how much longer he will be allowed to stay. With the war comes injured men and they need as many good doctors as they can find. I believe that Ginje is the only thing protecting me from the advisers and when he leaves, I think things will get very bad very quickly.

I have been setting under the giant Sakura tree in the main garden. Enjoying the brief reprieve from the duties that are so very troublesome. My peaceful reprieve was broken when Hakim came and told me I was needed in the study. Reluctantly I rose and followed him to my husband's study. All the advisers sat in cushions in various places about the room. Hakim sat me behind the desk. I ran my hands lovingly over the polished marble top. I imagined him doing the same thing I was doing now. Talking with his advisers and signing papers. I was pulled out of my musings by someone calling my name.

" Lady Izumi? ", the voice came from Hakim, " We need to discuss reconstruction methods for the villages once the war is over. " I looked at him. Something is different about him to day. He seemed more at ease.

" What is wrong with the ones we already have? " I asked.

" They simply need to be updated. " He said as if I should know this. I barely know what I have been doing, I have just gone with what I thought Sesshomaru would do.

" Okay, well lets put a bit more funding and supplies in each plan and give extra men to help rebuild huts and plant crops. ", I mused, " Will that do? " I asked the stunned group of men. They only nodded.

" Now then, " I announced and looked around, " what is next? " I plastered a smile on my face. Which immediately fell upon seeing a servant come forward with papers that barely fit into her arms.

" These are various treaties and new boundary laws that we must discuss before you sign them. " Hakim explained. The girl placed the papers in front of me, bowed slightly, and turned away to wait outside the door. I pulled the first cluster of papers off the stack and stared down at it.

It was a boundary law. Since my signature is temporary unless Sesshomaru left it alone, I signed after reading it. It couldn't hurt. Our lands expanded fifty miles on each inland side. I pulled another cluster off the top of the pile and stared down it without seeing it. No wonder Sesshomaru was always so somber after his meetings. I was only on the second cluster of papers and already I could feel the time begin to stretch.

We continued like this for four hours. I selected papers read them over. The advisers talked over them to me and decided whether or not I should sign them. I signed them all. I had only one paper left to sign. I quickly read it over and signed it, without giving the advisers time to talk.

" There! ", I exclaimed happily, " All done! " I began to get up when Hakim held up his hands to stop me.

" There is just one more thing. ", he said, " If you will just remain seated. " I felt my shoulders visibly sag and slowly I sank back down into the chair and folded my hands neatly on the desk top. I smiled gently, yet I knew my smile looked tight on my lips.

" Yes? " I asked tartly. All I wanted was to go to my rooms and take a long luxurious bath in the private hot springs and think about Sesshomaru. Thinking about him, for some reason, always seems to calm me or make me happy. The thought that I missed him came to me and for a moment I indulged it, as I secretly ignored what Hakim was saying.

A knock at the door interrupted him and he held up one finger, signaling that he would be back momentarily. He turned and went to the shoji screen, slid it open, walked out, and slid it shut behind him. As soon as he closed the door the smile faded from my face and I pinched the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger. Trying to desperately discourage the headache that was steadily growing. Bowing my head as I closed my eyes. I listened to the barely audible whispers that came from the side of the shoji screen.

A moment later Hakim came through the screen and slowly closed it. His expression as he slowly turned from the door and walked to stand across the desk, can only be described as a mixture of confusion, happiness, and melancholy.

" My Lady I have some news. " He spoke softly and my heart clenched. He hadn't stated whether the news was good or bad.

" It seems the war is over and we have one." His voice was low and he spoke slowly. I sensed a 'but' coming and held my peace.

" But, ", he continued as predicted, " We cannot seem to find the Lord, my Lady. " I stopped breathing in that instant and I felt my heart stop. I couldn't lose him. I had only just gotten him back. My blood slowed to a crawl and turned to ice in my veins. As the color left my cheeks and the hot tears coursed silently down my face, I pressed a shaking hand to my mouth.

" What? " I asked shakily behind me hand, trying desperately not to scream.

Okay so what happened to our might lord? Well you will have to see next chapter which should be later to night or tomorrow so 'till then Sayonara!J


	18. Chapter 18

Six months. Six agonizing months. I have been alone all this time. The advisers have started to openly show their dislike of me. Some even going so far as to call me a hanyou publicly and spit at my feet. I miss him so much. I fell like crying, but if I do it will give them more reason to show their distaste. I remember the day they told me. I didn't believe them at first, I couldn't.

FLASHBACK

I was walking down the halls. Headed in no particular direction. My thoughts on him. I had been so worried those past weeks. Worried that he was out there some where alone or that I would never see him again. I was strong for the children, but at night I cried silently into my pillow. I feared that I would never again feel his arms around me, his kiss on my lips, or his skin under my palms. And also fear that I would never again grow big with his child and see the look of pride in his eyes when he would look at me and run his hand over the bulge of my belly.

I was brought out of my musings by voices. I fixed my posture and strode with grace towards them. When I rounded the corner I saw that Ginje stood with the advisers in front of a tightly closed door. I slowed my steps until I stopped in front of them. Ginje had a sad look on his face and I knew something had happened.

" Ginje? " I asked. His eyes were sad as he looked at me.

" My Lady, we have some news regarding the Lord. " It was Jerome who spoke to me. My eyes flashed to his. I felt fear and hope twine together in my belly and rise up every second that he remained quiet.

" And this news is? " I asked. Even I could hear the strained emotions and the tightness of my voice. Hakim stepped forward and handed me a blood stained bundle of whit silk. I knew instantly that the silk I held in my hand was Sesshomaru's hori. My eyes filled with tears and they coursed in twin rivers, unyielding down my face as I gently fingered the bloody silk.

" I am deeply sorry My Lady, but the Lord is dead. ", Hakim motioned to the silk in my hands, " That was all that could be saved, found even. " My eyes grew wide and I clutched the hori to m chest as my knees gave out and a agonizing wail escaped me. I fell to the floor in a heap. I buried my face in his shirt and cried into it, not caring that they could see me or that I could be heard.

I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. He wasn't coming back. I wouldn't ever see him again. I wouldn't see his smile that he only gave to me when no one was looking or the twinkle in his eyes when he was thinking of something mischievous. I would never watch him sleep again, or hear his laugh, or see him when he was being playful with me and the children. 'Oh no!' I thought 'The children. They wouldn't understand that daddy was not coming back!' I felt the sadness, despair, loneliness, and fear well up inside me as a fresh bout of tears coursed down my cheeks.

I felt a pair of arms come around me and pull me close to their body. I didn't see who it was, but I turned and clung to their shirt and buried my face in their chest and cried anyway. Sobs racked my body as the one holding me rocked me to and fro, rubbing soothing circles into my back.

" Shhhh…it will be alright. " They whispered. I knew who that voice belonged to. It was Ginje holding me. I started blubbering and mumbling uncontrollably into his shirt.

" He's gone! He's gone! He's not coming back! " I cried. Ginje pushed me away and placed his hands on my shoulders. His eyes were kind, but his face held seriousness.

" You have to calm down My Lady. " He told me firmly. I shook my head and looked at him.

" I ca…I-I ca-can't. " I whispered brokenly. Ginje placed his hands on my face and wiped away my tears.

" You must. The children are coming and you must explain, calmly, what happened. " His voice had softened as he spoke and I took a minute to compose myself. The children came around the corner a second later. Each of them had a different expression on their face. Rin worry, Micheko confusion, and Mayumi blissful ignorance. I motioned them to me. I picked up Umi and placed her in my lap and she turned and clung to my kimono.

" There is something that I have to tell you. You might not understand it at first, but I need you to be brave, okay? " I looked at my two oldest and they nodded.

" What is it mother? " Rin asked. I smiled sadly at her.

" It's about daddy. He got hurt when he went to fight. He…" I was cut off by the quivering voice of my son.

" Is daddy going to be okay? " He asked, tears running down his still chubby face. My eyes looked to Rin and she too was crying.

" No, sweetie, He's not. Daddy…" I paused and took a breath because I knew as soon as I said this it would be true, " Daddy's dead. He's not coming back. " I heard their wails and then their tiny bodies crushed to mine and I held them as the cried. I knew that the next months, no the next year would be hard on all of us. With tears running down my face I sent a prayer to him. 'Sesshomaru' I silently said ' we love you and we miss you.'

END FLASHBACK

I have spent the last months wondering what will happen to my son. He is only a child. Barely six years old and he has to learn things now that he wouldn't start learning until he was twelve. But that has changed now that Sesshomaru is… I still can't say that he is. Even though it won't bring him back, I can't say it. I miss him so much. I just wish there was some way for him to come back to me.

I had watched her. Every day since they told her the war was over. I saw her expression when they told her they couldn't find me. 'THOSE LIEING BASTARDS!' I watched as she slowly wore down and finally broke the day they told her that I was dead.

That day she had been right in front of the door that would lead down to the dungeons, were they were keeping me. A prisoner in my own castle. I never believed that would happen. I am currently chained to a wall with quite a few sutras stuck to my person. Unfortunately only a holy person can remove them with out depleting my strength for a while. They come constantly down to my cell and taunt me about how she has made me weak. Her as well as my human daughter. They say they will make my son twice as great as I am and they will make sure that he won't fall for a human or a half-breed.

They've made me watch her through a enchanted mirror they have placed in my cell. Her sadness that day was so thick in the air that I could practically taste it. I felt for her. Every day I saw her, but I couldn't touch her, couldn't speak to her. I couldn't even smell her sweet scent. She smelled like vanilla and fresh rain. I missed her scent. After months of not having it around me constantly, even the smallest trace was heaven.

They told me what they were going to do to her and I was quickly running out of time. I swear when I get free of this god forsaken cell I would slit their throats happily. I would gladly do more to them for harming my mate and children.

The only thing keeping me from breaking these reinforced chains were the sutras placed on me. Just to remove one on my own would deplete my energy supply for hours. Eventually I will get the damned things off and get out of here to kill the bastards.

I watched her as she slept and I missed being able to lay next to her and watch her and kiss her sweet lips. I will get out of this place and protect her from them at any cost. Even if it means I must kill my most trusted friend for that to happen.

Well I out did my self. This was the last chapter I had written so must give me at least three days to write and post the next chapter. So plz be patient. Sayonara!J


	19. Chapter 19

I have now been ready to quit this job for the last two weeks, but I can't. I can't for my son's sake and for Sesshomaru's memory. Usually the advisers and I would meet in the library or Sesshomaru's study. Today though, they wanted to meet in my rooms. Hakim said that what they had to tell me was of the utmost importance and they didn't want any one other than myself to hear it. So, they had told me that we would meet in my rooms where we would not be disturbed.

I had reached my rooms and slid the screen open, the room was eerily silent as I stepped inside. I slid the screen shut as I looked around the room. ' Where were they? ' I thought. I spotted someone on the other side of the balcony doors. I went to walk to them when I felt something hard connect with the back of my head. Tears sprung up in my eyes as my knees gave out. I looked up from my back to see who had hit me, but it was no use. My vision was already clouded as unconsciousness crept up on me.

I watched horrified as Izumi walked down the hall to our room. Today was the last day. My advisers were going to kill her tonight. Two weeks! Two weeks and still I had too many sutras on me to break these damnable chains. They figured out my plan and began to place one sutra on me daily. I have much less than I started with. They forgot today though. So, if I can remove one more sutra, I will be able to break free. I let my eyes wander to the mirror again and an angry roar escaped my chest as Jerome struck her over the head with his sword sheath.

I struggled against my bindings in a futile attempt to get free. I calmed some when the holy man my traitorous advisers hired to place the sutras on me, came through the cell door. I stared fiercely at him. His face blank as he came forward.

" I see that every thing has on as planned. " His melodious voice said. I watched him as he came closer. There'd be no one to help him today if he got too close this time. He was not a strong holy man so, his powers wouldn't even come close to harming me.

" It will be stopped. I will not allow them to harm her. ", I looked at him as I whispered the next part, " And if they do…they will not have mercy, because only their blood will satisfy my beast. " I saw the spineless holy man shiver at the malice in my voice. He stepped just the wrong way and my hand was at his throat in an instant.

" Remove the sutras! " I told the man dangerously. Using the last of my strength, I sat the monk back on his feet and with a quick flick of my claws, my poison whip was wrapped tightly around his neck. The monk looked fearfully into my eyes and I let the dangerous, cold look intensify. The little man 'eepeed' much to the displeasure of my sensitive ears and began removing the sutras. With each one he removed, I felt my strength returning.

When the last sutra was pealed off, I broke the chains effortlessly. I smiled at the monk evilly. My whip disappeared and was replaced with my hands.

" Now, ", I whispered softly, " That wasn't so hard was it? " I looked into his eyes as I snapped his neck. I felt the tiny bones break and splinter under the skin I held in my hands. I saw the light leave his eyes and the rush that killing him brought to me. Those bastards would learn first hand why I was called 'the killing perfection'. My beast wanted out and soon I would unleash it on them. The traitors would feel my wrath and the wrath of my beast. It wanted blood and oh how it was going to get it.

I awoke to a loud pounding in my head. I could remember what had happened. The back of my head hurt enormously and I rolled gently over onto my back. I slowly opened my eyes and looked around. The candle was burning. ' It must be night.' I thought. I couldn't remember where I was. I looked around the room and suddenly I remembered everything. I tried to get up, but a foot planted itself in my chest, holding me down.

" Hakido! ", I heard Hakim shout, " That's enough! We can't have her falling unconscious again. " I felt the foot leave my chest and I rolled away from it. Coughing, I tried to get the air back into my lungs. I felt warm fingers gently brush the hair from my eyes. When the fingers reached my hairline, they turned rough as they grabbed my hair and yanked my hair back.

I looked up into the eyes of Hakim. His free hand came up and his fingers traced a path from my cheek down to the crease of my kimono.

" Such pretty, warm skin. ", He whispered, " Such a shame that it will soon be cold. " I looked at him and he smiled at me. It was a smile that lacked kindness and mocked warmth.

" Why are you doing this? " I asked him. He released my hair and removed his hand from my chest.

" Because you have made him weak. You are his weakness and I plan to rid him of you. He is not strong enough to do it himself. He claims he loves you, but love is a weak and useless emotion. Once we release him, he will be so much stronger without you and your silly girls around! " Hakim ranted.

I felt confused. If Sesshomaru is dead, then why is Hakim talking about him as if he weren't.

" Hakim, Sesshomaru is dead. Why… " I was cut off my his merciless laugh.

" Stupid woman!", he laughed, " The Lord is not dead. Nothing can kill him. We have kept him subdued and away from you. But you need not worry about him. I suggest that you worry about you. I have someone very special here to kill you. Someone very special. " Hakim turned to the side slightly and called into the darkness of the room.

" Sweetheart, can you come in here please? ", Hakim turned to me slightly, " Hakido, Tuetu help her up to her knees." I was pulled up and then held on my knees. My confusion was replaced with horror as I saw who walked from the shadows to stand in front of me. A small dagger secured to the front of their kimono shirt. My barely three year old daughter cocked her head and smiled at me. She was completely innocent of what was about to happen and I knew that they used her against me, so that I wouldn't fight back.

" What's the matter my Lady? You seem shocked. ", Hakim laughed, " Mayumi, run to your mother and give her a hug. " He gave my daughter a small push and she ran. Time seemed to slow as I watched my daughter run toward me. I felt the advisers holding my arms release me and step away. At that instant time sped up again and I felt my daughter's arms around my neck and the blade attached to her chest pierce my heart. I kept the scream inside me as I wrapped my arms around her and unhooked the daggers' straps from her back.

" I love you mommy! " Mayumi whispered. I pushed her away and looked at her.

" I love you too baby. " I told her. Then she saw the blood and she began crying.

" Why are you bleeding mommy? " she asked. At that moment the door was thrown open. I turned and Rin stood in the open doorway and be hind her…

" Sesshomaru. " I could barely whisper. I was losing to much blood.

" Go to Rin. " I whispered. I didn't see what happened next. I heard the door slam shut and heard the bolt slide into place as I fell from my knees to the floor. He caught me before I fell completely.

" Sesshomaru." I whispered. I brought my finger tips up and brushed them gently over his cheek. When I pulled my hand away, I saw the four bloody trails my fingers had left on his cheek.

" Sorry. " I whispered and smiled at him. His eyes were confused as he looked at me.

"For what? " He asked.

" For getting blood on you. " I laughed slightly. It hurt and I stopped immediately.

" Don't worry. It's fine. " Sesshomaru whispered.

" I missed you. " I told him as I started to drift.

" I missed you too." I heard him say as I fought to keep my eyes open.

" I love you. " It was important that I tell him this.

" I know. I love you too. Please Izumi stay awake! " I heard him say as my eyes won and closed.

" I can't. I am so tired. " I barely whispered. I felt Sesshomaru pull me closer.

" I know, but you have to stay awake! Izumi! Izumi! God no Izumi! " I heard him from far away. I wanted to go back to him. I felt the warm, wet drops of his tears as the fell onto my face as I slipped further and further away. My heart went out to him and I wanted to tell him it was okay. My body shuddered and my heart beat for the last time as my last breath left my body. And I just floated in my dark, foggy surroundings.

Omg! What is going to happen to Izumi & Sesshomaru I'm sad to tell you that there are only two more chapter to post. I will do it after I edit it though so, till next time Sayonara!J


	20. Chapter 20

I felt her body shudder and heard her heart stop. I shook her gently, then harder.

" Izumi! " I called her name. It was useless. I knew she was gone, but I couldn't let her go. I dropped my head and buried my face in her neck. Taking in the last lingering traces of her scent. My beast was coming and I wasn't going to fight it. I felt the blood in my veins grow white hot and my vision tinted red, before my beast took total control.

When it lifted my head I saw through it's eyes the fear on the advisers faces and it gave me a sick sense of pride to see it so plainly written.

" You killed her. You have lost all chance of mercy doing that. YOU WILL ALL DIE!" my voice came out distorted and very deep, truly demonic as I yelled at them. My body hunched forward and turned to my first victim. I grabbed Tuetu by her throat and my claws slashed quickly across her tanned skin. Her blood poured from her neck as my mouth closed around the wound and her blood filled my mouth. My fangs closed around her neck and I ripped out her throat at the same time, I plunged my hand into her chest and pulled out her still beating heart. I saw the look of horror cross the other advisers faces as I crushed the muscle and smiled as the warm, sticky liquid oozed out and coated my fingers in her blood. I dropped the heart thoughtlessly to the floor as I moved quickly to Monetly.

The short man cowered before me. I gripped the man's head and twisted it so hard that I ripped his head from his body and I let his body slide to the floor. I looked to Hakim and threw Monetly's head so that it splattered on the wall behind my father's old friend.

Hakido was next. He tried to run past me, but I grabbed his long brown hair and ripped him back. I plunged two fingers into his eyes and let my sweet smelling poison seep into the wounds. His scream made my ears ring. I snapped his neck to make the sound stop and dropped his body to the floor.

Jerome, he was next. The bastard! He also tried to run. I snapped his arm in half and looked him in the eyes. I smiled at him and his eyes widened before I punched my fist trough his head. I removed my hand and could see Hakim's stunned face trough the hole in Jerome's head. I looked in disgust as his body fell out of my way.

I stepped toward Hakim And even though his face held shock, he was not afraid of me. Well, we would have to change that. Slowly I stocked him. He suddenly stopped moving, Curious, I also stopped a few feet from him and met his deep grey eyes. I sensed that he was about to speak And I waited expecting him to plead for forgiveness. I was wrong.

" You would kill the man that has been like a father to you? " Hakim asked. I looked at him completely shocked and my anger rose.

" You killed my mate! You are nothing like a father! " I yelled at him. My beast was getting angry. I had controlled it a little to hear what Hakim had to say, but now it wanted to be let out completely.

" Your father would never have allowed you to kill me. I know, I was his… " Hakim began, but I cut him off furiously.

" You knew noting of my father. You know only what he wished you to. And how dare you insinuate that my father would not allow me my revenge and the right to redeem our honor. You will die for you insolence! " I screamed at him as I unleashed the full fury of my beast on him. I swiped at Hakim, grazing his stomach deep enough to almost disembowel him. But Hakim swerved away at the last second and the wound only just penetrated the muscles. Hakim glanced down in disgust at my fallen mate.

" She is only a hanyou! A abomination born from two other abominations! Born into human society no less! Are you going to let her destroy you? Are you so blind that you cannot see it? She is destroying everything I have worked for! She has made you weak! This excuse for a hanyou was slowly taking your strengths apart. You! The Tiayoukai of the Western Lands! I could not allow that to happen! ",Hakim paused and his eyes seemed to shimmer with secret knowledge.

" Rather than she destroying you, I got rid of her. I destroyed her…and…her unborn child." I saw his smile as his words registered in my mind and my eyes widened. I looked at my mate. That statement was false. I had not lain with her since my last night here in the castle before the war. If she was with child, then the child was not mine. I refused to believe that she would lay with another.

" You lie! " I stated simply. Trying to hold back the fear that she was indeed with child.

" Indeed, I do not. " Hakim smiled. The old man was getting weak. A large puddle of his blood had begun to pool at his feet.

" Then the child is not of my lineage. " I said softly as I turned my head from her body. I smelled no lie on him, so the only other answer was that she had lain with another. Would she have withered and moaned beneath him? Would she have wrapped her long legs around his waist and arched into him, bringing him closer as he reached her peak? Would she have cried out his name? The last thought made jealousy coarse through me and made me want to hate her, but I found I could not. She was told that I was dead and had sought solace. If what Hakim said was true, then she had found it in the form of a lover. Hakim's voice brought me out of my musings.

" That, young Lord, is where you are wrong. "his voice was quiet, signaling his impending end.

" Explain. " My voice did not sound like my own. A emotion I couldn't identify welled up inside me.

" The child would have been of your linage, Sesshomaru. She… " I didn't let him finish as I lashed out.

" Impossible! I have not touched her in more that six months! The child cannot be of my seed! " I seethed at him. He was becoming weak. I needed to finish him soon.

" Not impossible. If a celestial loses someone very close to her, namely a husband or some other male that is close to her in that way, then the emotions and memories that she has for that person will manifest into a child inside of her. The child being exactly like the person she lost. It is a long process. For a celestial to do this, she must have strong feelings for the person lost. And to conceive takes months. It surprised me that she received this trait since she is only a hanyou. " Hakim's explanation made my eyes widen and I looked at her. Her blood had pooled in a black-crimson puddle around her. Her dark blood contrasting against her snow white skin. Even in death she was beautiful. My angel.

" Her body knew you, knew you seed and created a child out of her sorrow. The child would have been exactly like you in every way. But I could not allow another of her offspring to ruin the palace with her tainted blood." At Hakim's words I lost what little control I had mustered to hear him speak. I came at him and sank my claws into his neck. I let some of my poison seep into the wounds. I smelt the rancid stench of burning flesh and muscle. I removed my claws and struck him across the face. Sending the dieing man to the ground. I looked in his eyes. Slowly I brought my hand to my mouth and licked his blood from my claws. I stepped forward and placed my foot on his festering neck.

" You killed my mate and MY child! Your life is forfeit. " I smiled down at the demon and I brought my foot down on his neck, crushing it completely. He made a gurgling sound as he tried to speak. I watched him in disgust as he finally died from blood loss and the lack of air. I turned from his body to my mate's. My beast satisfied, returned to it's cage. I felt the fire in my veins subsided and my vision returned to normal as I walked to where she lay. I reached for Tentseiga by the bed. Unsheathing the sword, I saw the minions of the underworld making ready to depart. Quickly I swiped the blade of her body. I could only save one. I hoped that she would forgive me, but it seemed useless to save the child. It would not survive without her. With any luck, it was still to early for her to have known that she carried a child.

The minions dissipated, I picked her up and placed her gently on the bed. I started to panic when she remained unmoving on the bed. I felt the flesh of her neck, it was still cold. Gently I placed my ear against her breast, I could barely hear her heart beat and her breathing was shallow. Something was wrong.

As quickly as I could I ran to Ginje's quarters and half dragged him to Izumi's side. He stared at her for a moment, then looked at me.

" Help her! " I commanded panicked.

" My Lord, I will need you to wait outside. " the doctor said quietly as he began to examine her. I started to protest, but decided against it. I bowed my head and did what he asked, I didn't like this feeling. The feeling of being helpless.

It felt like for ever when Ginje finally opened the door. He had a solemn look on his face and I felt the rising fear inside me and I didn't like it.

" Is she alright? " I asked immediately.

" I do no know. ", he paused, " What I do know is that she will sleep for a long time. The Tentseiga brought her back, but it didn't heal her wounds completely. " That sentence caught me off guard.

" How did you know I used Tentseiga? " I questioned.

" It lays unsheathed by a pool of her blood. I only assumed that you had used it. " He answered. I nodded to him.

" How long will she remain asleep? " I asked one of the many questions I desperately wanted answered.

" Long enough to heal her wounds. Possibly longer. If I had to guess, I'd say about…three or four months." At his answer I nodded and gave him my thanks. I bowed my head slightly as the two hand maids that had cleaned and dresses Izumi shuffled past.

I closed the door. I looked around the room and it was as if there hadn't just been five gruesome killings in this room. There was not a trace of blood in the room. I looked at my mate, my angel. I could hear her strong heart beat and see the slight rise and fall of her chest beneath the blanket as she breathed. Walking over to the bed, I sat down gently at her side.

I would wait for her to wake up. I brushed her hair from her face. Her body no longer held the stench of blood and death. The maids having bathed her. My fingers brushed down her cheek and across her lips. I leaned down and pressed a small, chaste kiss to her lips and then to her fore head.

" Sleep, my love. I will be here when you wake. " I whispered to her. Then as a second thought, I leaned down to her ear.

" I love you. " I whispered and nuzzled her neck. I didn't say it enough and I would do my best to change that. I laid down beside her and pulled her body close. Careful not to reopen any of her wounds. I buried my nose in her neck, reacquainting my mind with her scent and let her now warm body and soft sweet scent to lull me into sleep.

So, Izumi is alive? Maybe. You will just have to see next chapter. Plz review! Sayonara!J


	21. Epilogue

I was drifting through the grey fog. My limbs felt heavy and refused to obey my commands to move. My body throbbed with pain. I couldn't remember what caused it. I don't even remember where I am. My eyes were heavy and I felt as if I hadn't slept in years. I battled with my tiredness and eventually I was able to open them a bit. The light hurt my eyes and I let them close again. I would try to open them again later, for now I would sleep.

I gained conciseness again slowly. The same grey fog surrounded my mind. I felt the throbbing pain of my body. It had lessened since I last awoke. I tried again to open my eyes. I succeeded after a few moments. I only managed to open them half way. It was dark. Everything was blurry. I could only hold them open a short time before I once again succumbed to the blissful fog.

This time I knew that I would be able to keep my eyes open when I finally awoke to the grey fog. The throbbing in my body was completely gone. I don't know how long it has been since I last awoke. My limbs still felt heavy. As if I had not used them in a very long time. I wonder how long I have been asleep.

I opened my eyes without hindrance and took in all I could see from my position. I realized that it was from my back. Tucking the blanket under my arms I sat up. It took me a moment, for my muscles protested against being forced to sit up after such a long time laying on my back. I paused and remembered, I had no idea how long I had been out.

Finally reaching the position that I wanted, I looked around the room. It was a large room with a high ceiling and polished wooden floors. The walls were adorned with paintings of giant white dogs and many landscapes and others with domestic animals. One painting caught my eye. It was hung over the fire place. The painting was of a man and a woman.

The man was handsome and had long silver hair. He was dressed in a simple black kimono and stood behind a beautiful woman. She had long pitch black hair and icy blue eyes. She had smoke grey markings on her face. They resembled the man's markings that were magenta. The woman wore a deep orchid kimono with a slightly lighter shade Sakura blossom on her breast.

The woman's face was upturned to the man's and it seemed that his golden eyes locked with her icy blues. One of his hands rested on her left shoulder, with one of hers covering it. The woman sat with the man standing behind her. The branches of a Sakura tree could be seen through the window in the painting. A single petal of a Sakura blossom rested on the sill of the window.

I tore my eyes from the beautiful portrait and looked at the set of strange doors. They were thrown open and the silk curtains billowed gently in the nights breeze. Through the doors I could see he stars. I looked at the bed I laid in. the covers were silk and the mattress extremely soft. I thought that I must be some where luxurious.

I turned again to my right and looked at the fire place. The fire flickered slightly. It wasn't a big roaring fire, but it was enough to keep the room comfortable. My eyes slid again to the painting of the couple. They looked very much in love. I wondered who they were. I heard a noise and my head turned sharply to my left. I couldn't see into the darkness of the room. The fire provided light, but not enough for me to see past the bed.

" Izumi? " A deep voice called. I strained into the darkness to see who had called out. I saw a flicker of light and then many candles around the room lit up, instantly bathing the room in light. My breath caught in my throat and my heart started beating erratically.

Before me sat the most beautiful man I had ever seen. He may be the only man I have ever seen I reminded myself. He sat hunched over. His hands hanging between his legs as he rested his forearms on his knees. His feet were bare as was his chest. His only clothing was the loose silken hakamas he wore. His long silver hair fell to the side. Cascading down his broad bare shoulders.

I felt the blush rise in my cheeks and a strange feeling start deep in my belly. I felt that I should know this regal man, but I couldn't remember him. My eyes traveled up his long perfectly shaped neck and his finely set jaw. I looked briefly at his slightly rounded, yet firm lips. I took in the magenta markings on his slim cheeks, then his straight nose. I looked next to his brow. Finely shaped eyebrows and a deep cerulean crescent moon in the middle of his forehead. His body was muscular , but not overly so and his aura radiated immense power. I saved his eyes for last. The smoldering gold orbs bore into my own eyes as he looked at me. So many emotions passed through his eyes the moment they looked with mine, that I couldn't name them all.

" Izumi? " He asked again. I looked at him in confusion. Was this my name? I asked him as much.

" Is that my name? " My voice sounded hoarse and I saw the look of shock no the man's beautiful face. His eyes widened marginally and his lips parted slightly as his lithe body sank back into the chair in which he sat. I knew something was wrong the moment his eyes met mine again. The look in his eyes scared me. It wasn't a look that should make me fear for my life. It was a look that made me fear for the things that I had forgotten. It was a look of a man who had lost something very important to him and gained it back, only to find that it was no the same as before. I briefly wondered what he had lost.

kay so this is the end, but i promis you there will be a sequal! Sayonara! J


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